Hello beautiful people!
Yesterday, I went to my high school with one of my sisters and boy did it bring back memories! On my way back home, I was reflecting on my time in school, from primary till high school and I just blessed God for my life now.
Let me tell you, back in school, I was not a popular or cool girl. I didn’t think I was beautiful or pretty; skinny girls rocked then, curvy girls were not in vogue yet and besides I was not fully grown so I was just fat. I remember a time in junior high, I wanted to be skinny so bad that I won’t eat when I got back home from school; I thought starving myself would do the trick smh. There were girls in my class who I thought were so pretty and I really wanted to be like them. Boys didn’t like me, I was not the one they chose. I never had a boyfriend in junior high and if I had attended prom, I would have had no date. When we went for inter-schools games in high school, I always ‘gnashed’- meaning boys never came to talk to me; same for letters,(and you know what a big deal receiving letters were in high school) I only received letters from my darling Naki, when everyone else was receiving letters from boys in other schools. I was the ugly duckling, the one who never felt like she fit in no matter where she went. There was nothing special about me, I was just not the one you’d pick. I always battled with low self-esteem and even though I wasn’t getting negative affirmations about my looks, I wasn’t getting positive ones either. (NTS: always tell my daughters how beautiful and valuable they are, no matter how old they are).
What I soon came to realize was that this perception of myself was a big problem! A mind like this creates the perfect environment for the enemy to infiltrate and dwell, filling it with his lies. ‘You’re not good enough’. ‘You’re not that beautiful’. ‘No man will ever marry you’. ‘You’re too big’. ‘No one is going to give you a chance’. ‘You were born this way so you can’t change’. Lies, lies, lies, I tell you! These are all lies the enemy tries to fill our minds with and once you believe them, you start to go downhill, fast. You begin to seek any possible avenue where your sense of worth can be validated.
What I didn’t know in these times was that God loved me. No matter how I saw myself, God saw the best version of me and knowing this now makes all the difference. I didn’t know that these things I experienced were all a part of my preparation process to be set apart for such a time as this! My goodness, what joy this knowledge gives me now. I never once imagined a purpose for the way I felt about myself, I mean, I didn’t even like me but look at me now.
How could I ever minister to girls with low self-esteem if I had never had that? How could I advise people on fitness routines if I had never done it myself? Yeah you can study or research and teach but do you know the difference it makes when you’ve actually been there yourself? I know I wouldn’t take advice from someone who doesn’t have any experience in the area they speak on. Oh so you’ve never been overweight and lost weight but you want to tell me how to do it? No Sir.
This is why I’m not ashamed of my struggles and past because God has brought me out of them so that my story can be a blessing to someone who is still in there. Dear people, validation of your self-worth does not come from the way you look, the people who like or don’t like you, OR what you have or don’t have. It comes from knowing and resting in the knowledge that God loves you. That’s all. He loved us so deeply that He gave up His only son to die for our sakes. That should make you know how important you are, that should tell you how much you’re worth. Boy, if that isn’t the greatest kind of love, then I don’t know what is. I mean, you say you love your partner but will you die for him/her though? Can you?
All I want is for every broken and hurting person to know that this love is real and no one else can ever love you like this. No judgement or condemnation here, no making you feel less of yourself. In Him:
- You are great. John 14:12
- You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
- Your past doesn’t matter, you are brand new. 2 Corinthians 5:17
Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about your past, God will bring glory out of it! Don’t allow anyone to make you feel bad about mistakes God has forgiven you for, He has the final say not them! & never lose sight of your royalty because you, my dear, are a child of THE King so adjust your crown and walk in your right!
If you’re currently going through challenging times and you’d like a listening ear, some encouragement or motivation, please contact me here: email@example.com