Hello beautiful people!
‘Relationships are hard!’ This is something I keep hearing and I spent a good time thinking of it in the shower this morning and wondering if it’s true. People keep talking about how hard relationships are and can be and I’m wondering, are relationships hard or do people make them hard?
Kojo is in a near perfect relationship with his girl Ama. They are the picture perfect couple. He is so much in love with her and always goes the extra mile for her. He even goes with her to the salon when she has to get her hair done, something his boys always tease him about. Ama is his world and he would do anything for her. She feels the same way about him because he is her first love, so she does everything she can to make him know how much he means to her. Kojo knows how emotional Ama is and he treats her with respect, as she deserves but whenever they have arguments, he abuses her emotionally. He always shouts at her, talks about how weak she is, how much she needs him and how miserable her life would be if he left her, which makes her cry a lot and feel broken inside. Ama has told him several times how much she dislikes the way he talks to her during arguments and he always apologizes after but when they get into another argument, he repeats the same behavior. Ama is getting fed up but she can’t seem to leave him because she feels everything else about their relationship is good. However, she doesn’t know how much longer she can hold on to this as the arguments have become more frequent; lately, they seem to argue about almost everything. Kojo is also not ready to let Ama go. He hears her concerns but he always tells her that’s just the way he is and that he’ll try to change, though he knows very well that he’s not going to.
Ama meets Ken at her best friend’s birthday party and they hit it off instantly. Ken is the exact opposite of her hot headed boyfriend Kojo, she has never met anyone as calm as him. He is reasonable and after months of talking just as friends, she realizes even when they have misunderstandings, he tries to reason with her ever so patiently so they can resolve their differences. Ama begins to fall for Ken as her relationship with Kojo feels more like a chore with each passing day, however, Ken has a girlfriend too. Though his girlfriend is in another country and the time difference is crazy, he loves her so much and remains faithful to her. Riya, Ken’s girlfriend is great but she has a terrible temper and that’s the challenge he’s facing in his relationship. When they have fights, she doesn’t talk to him for days, sometimes weeks. She has once even gone as far as a whole month of not talking to him, blocking him on any platform where he can contact her. She gets back to him after she has cooled down and goes ahead to love him like crazy. They’ve been together for about 8 years, 5 of which have been long distance so neither of them want to leave the relationship because of all the time invested, plus Ken is a writer for a newspaper column that seeks to debunk myths on long distance relationships and promote it in a positive light. He has made quite a name for himself and many people call on him for advice pertaining to that, so he thinks quitting will be a bad look for him and that’s why he stays. His girlfriend says she really loves him and wants to be his wife someday so she’s never leaving him. She believes though her temper gets the best of her sometimes, Ken understands and loves her all the same so they’re definitely going to grow old together.
Nana Akua and Prince have been together for the past 2 years and they’re planning to get married at the end of this year. They’ve even started preparing towards that; Prince has gone to see her parents and has already started buying the things on the list they gave him. They are ‘saving themselves for marriage’ and are the exemplary couple at their church, which makes everyone proud of them as they are both youth leaders. What Prince doesn’t know is that Nana Akua has a side piece who knows about him. She passes by his place almost every evening after work to have a good time before she goes home and traffic on road is her daily excuse when he asks why she gets home late. Nana Akua loves Prince but she’s not down with the whole waiting till they’re married thing that he insists they do, as she always tells him, but he’s a good man and she sees herself settling down with him so she goes along with it while getting her needs met elsewhere. She has it in mind to call it quits with the other guy just before her wedding but he is now in too deep, hates sharing her and is threatening to tell Prince about them if she leaves him.
What do you make of these scenarios? Do you think their relationships would last?
Personally, I won’t call relationships hard but I know they involve a lot of effort and time. I don’t think relationships should be stressful and strenuous, as though you are laboring to make it work. I believe when you are with the right person, things flow naturally but of course you have to give it your time and put in effort to keep it vibrant and exciting. Relationships are great, I mean who doesn’t like to have someone to share their life with? I just think it is the behavior of a person that would make a relationship hard, not the relationship itself because what’s a relationship without the 2 people in it? Some people are able to recognize their weaknesses or shortcomings but refuse to do anything about them and you can see how that affects the other person involved. Others try to play smart and do things in secret, which almost always blows up in their faces and messes everything up.
Everyone is unique and has their own qualities and personality traits, some very strong, others meek, thereby not making it easy to blend into a perfect one but when 2 people are determined to be together, there are sacrifices and compromises made sometimes. You can’t decide to stick to your guns even when it’s clear that you are in the wrong and expect to have a successful relationship, neither can you cheat on your partner every chance you get and believe you’re going to have a future with them.
In my opinion, relationships are not hard, it is people who make them hard and damn near impossible!
Do you think relationships are hard? What are some of your experiences? Let me know! It’s #talkbackTuesday on the blog so I’d like to hear from you all.
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If you’re currently going through challenging times and you’d like a listening ear, some encouragement or motivation, please contact me here: firstname.lastname@example.org