Hello beautiful people!
Boy, this year has been the roughest, most challenging and most trying of all my years on this earth. I don’t even know how I’m still here in one piece because I have been broken into so many different pieces.
I have been stretched in ways which made me wonder just how much more I could take and more often than not, I thought of giving up completely.
So many disappointments, setbacks, crushed hopes and dreams, you would think I had been set up for failure.
So many repetitive prayers that I began to sound like a broken record.
So many unanswered prayers that I often wondered where God was and if He could hear me.
At a point, this was me.
Regardless of all that I’ve been through, I have grown so much this year and when I think of the path I was on from the beginning of the year, I realize I wouldn’t have I have grown this much if I hadn’t experienced some of these things. I probably would have been in my little corner thinking life is mostly peaches and cream.
On the bright side, I have unlearned and learned so much this year and for that I am truly grateful. Sometimes we need to step out of the little boxes and labels we’ve put ourselves in and tagged ourselves with, and explore life outside of that.
My greatest relief this year is finally being set free from the bondage of ‘what would they think/say?’ I used to be so concerned about what others would think or say about my actions/decisions and as much as I had tried to let that go, it would still linger at the back of my mind but you know what, I can’t live for anyone else but myself. Do people think about what I would say before they live? Nope! So why should I? Yeah I do live in a society that is extremely nosy and overly involved in other people’s affairs but it is oh so satisfying for me now to sing ‘well I don’t really care what people say, I don’t really watch what dem waan do’ and actually mean it. The constant worry of other people’s opinions is like dead weight that holds you back from reaching your full potential and since I let that go, I’ve felt like a bird.
Most importantly, I have learned how to speak up for myself! I can’t describe how much of a big deal this is for me you guys. I’m an introvert and by nature, I mostly don’t want to talk. I have always considered myself a better writer than speaker and because I’d rather be quiet about certain situations, some people would take advantage of that to walk all over me but not anymore. I’ve learned how to put my mouth to good use (not in the way you’re thinking :p) and I’m taking my own advice to say what I feel.
If you’ve also had a rough year, I just want you to know that you’re not alone. We don’t have to keep up appearances and pretend we’re okay when we’re really not.
I still remember January 2017 like it was just yesterday and I’m really glad that the long, exhausting year has come to an end so quick. As broken as I’ve been and with all the crushed hopes and dreams, I can’t help but hope and pray that 2018 is going to be so much better for us all.
To my cherished readers and followers, thank you all for coming on this journey with me this year. Thanks for all your likes, comments and follows. I truly appreciate it and you all.
If you’re currently going through challenging times and you’d like a listening ear, some encouragement or motivation, please contact me here: firstname.lastname@example.org