Posted in Real Talk

NAKED

naked
/ˈneɪkɪd/
adjective
  1. (of a person or part of the body) without clothes.
  2. 2. (especially of feelings or behavior) expressed openly; undisguised

Hello beautiful people!

So I have been on a well deserved, long overdue hiatus, spending quality time with Husbae and in these past few months, I have been naked. And no, not in the way you’re thinking, though there has been lots of that 😉

I mean naked in the definition 2 kind of way. As a person who has always kept everything inside, this marriage has certainly made me very naked with my thoughts and emotions.

As you may or may not know, Husbae and I have been in a long distance relationship which obviously consists of less time spent together in person and more time spent over the phone. Although this type of relationship can foster effective communication, I realized it could also easily lead to pretense and false impressions being created. After all, you can’t actually see the person (if there are no video calls), so it is easy to pretend to be someone you are not and say things you don’t mean. The catch here is when y’all finally get together. What do you do then? Do you continue to entangle yourself in more lies with the person being right in front of you? I wonder how our marriage would have gone if I found out that the things Husbae had told me about himself were untrue, or vice versa.

Honesty has become so rare in relationships these days and I wonder why people bother getting with someone when they know they cannot and are not willing to be completely and totally honest with them. I’m sure you’ve heard the argument against sharing the pass-code to your phone with your partner and I wonder why that is even a thing. Personally, I don’t need the pass-code to my partner’s phone to snoop around or anything but if I do go into his phone for whatever reason, I should not find anything questionable. It’s as simple as that. This has got nothing to do with privacy cos what’s privacy when y’all are laid up?

The bottom line is you need to be a person of integrity; just don’t do things that you wouldn’t want your partner to find out, that’s all.

We recently celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary and I’d say the most important thing that I have learned so far on this journey is being 100% honest and transparent with my partner no matter what the situation is. Thing is, the truth always has a way of coming to light so why not be honest now than having to do it in an uncomfortable situation later?

One thing I am grateful for in my marriage is that we are able to have the hard and somewhat unpleasant conversations that most people would find ways of avoiding. It is not always easy bringing up such topics, especially when it has to do with a person’s flaws or mistakes, but it is always worth it when you’re able to get through that to find a resolution.

Today, I’m encouraging you all to take steps to be a little more honest in your dealings not just with your partner, but with the people around you too. Honesty is such an important virtue which does not only improve your interpersonal relationships but also tells others the kind of person you are.

I choose honesty and hope you do too.

Love always,

Mrs A.

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If you’re currently going through challenging times and you’d like a listening ear, some encouragement or motivation, please contact me here: talktomrsa@gmail.com

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Posted in Inspirational, Real Talk

Happy New Year!

Hello beautiful people!

I’m a little late to the party but Happy New Year to you all!

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As the year begins, I want you to ask yourself this simple question: “What is my why?”
Let this question guide your every move this year.

•Why do you have that dream in your heart?
•Why do you want to achieve those goals?
•Why do you want a lifestyle change?
•Why do you want to do the things that you want to do?

Your why is the very thing that motivates you to get up every morning and work a little harder to get a little better.

Knowing your “why” will help you stay committed to your dream.

Sometimes we are too focused on letting other people co-sign our dream, the dream that has been put in our hearts that we drag our feet on chasing it because the people we expect to support us are not being supportive. I’ll tell you one thing, most of your biggest fans/supporters would be people you don’t know personally.

In 2018, I pray we all chase our dreams relentlessly even if no one else believes in it.

Love always,

Mrs. A

If you’re currently going through challenging times and you’d like a listening ear, some encouragement or motivation, please contact me here: talktomrsa@gmail.com

 

Posted in Inspirational, Real Talk

In Pursuit of Happiness

Hello beautiful people!

I missed you all so very much. I’m always thinking about when next I can come here and share with my WordPress family but work is taking so much of me!

Someone once said true happiness is one of the hardest things to find these days and I think that’s true because there are so many people who are secretly hurting but putting on a brave face for the world. In a society that is so fast paced and barely has time to feel, people have to suck it up and pretend they are okay even if they are falling apart on the inside.

I saw a post on Instagram by Pastor Cornelius Lindsey which I’d like to share with you all.

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As an emotional person, I’ve often come across people who have dismissed my feelings and brushed it off as though it was my fault that I feel everything more deeply than others (where my emo sisters at?) so I began to think of and refer to it as my weakness not realizing how much of a strength it actually is, because it does take a lot for one to feel so deeply like I do.

Besides the fact that it’s not always easy to find someone you can trust and confide in without being judged, there are also the ‘Get over it’ type of people.

So you’ve found someone you think you can trust and confide in, you share what’s deeply bothering you and all they say to you is ‘Get over it’, or ‘Don’t worry’ or ‘Don’t think about it too much’. The worst one for me is ‘It is well’.

C’mon now.

Are we so desensitized to other people’s problems and issues that we just flippantly say something so hollow like ‘It is well’?

It is well? Let’s talk about this for a minute.

It is not well. I wouldn’t be sharing my problems with you if it was well. I wouldn’t be crying right now if it was well. I wouldn’t be feeling depressed if it was well. If I’m telling you I’m not okay and you’re telling me it is well, it’s like you’re not listening to me.

Can we please allow people to feel? Yes they will get over it but for now, in the moment, can you please hug them and hold their hand through it?

Or is it that we genuinely don’t know what to say, so we say things like that?

“God is in control”. Yes, the person who came to you certainly knows that God is in control but they’re coming to you for comfort, for you to hear them out and at least feel for them not to repeat what they already know.

Let’s be more empathetic and kind to one another. You don’t always have to say something, sometimes your presence alone is enough. That reassuring smile, that pat on the back or warm hug goes a longer way than the flippant words ever will.

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Life is stressful enough, let’s try to make it a little bit easier for the people around us by being there for them.

Love always,

Mrs A.

If you’re currently going through challenging times and you’d like a listening ear, some encouragement or motivation, please contact me here: talktomrsa@gmail.com

 

Posted in Real Talk, Talk Back Tuesdays

Leave the Side Chics Alone!

Yup, you heard me and no I’m not a side chic. I’ve never been one before.

Hello beautiful people!

Question of the day: If your spouse cheats on you, who do you blame? Do you blame yourself, your spouse or the person they cheated with?

I have noticed a rather disturbing trend where some wives move heaven and hell to confront, beat up and even in some cases, hurt the side chic (because their husbands were innocent men who were hunted down by the side chics 🙄).

Let’s discuss this real quick.

So my husband came to see my family, asked for my hand in marriage and we proceeded to plan our marriage ceremony. In front of our families and friends, we got married and promised to stay together till one of us dies. Now I don’t see how, if for some absurd reason my husband decides to cheat, I will leave him be and go confront the lady he cheated with.

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How?!

I have been trying really hard to understand the rationale behind women attacking side chics (physically and/or verbally) and I just don’t get it. I have heard so many different explanations and none of them makes sense to me.

If there’s a reason why you think women should do this or if you’ve done this before, kindly share with us in the comments section.

The most surprising reason that I’ve heard so far is that women have to speak to the side chic to make them understand that they need to respect their fellow sister’s union and stay clear off their man.

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Wut?

When did all of us women become such a close knit, loving sisterhood? Let’s be honest. I’m all for unity among women and women supporting one another but unfortunately no matter how hard we’re all trying, we are not really there yet.

I did an opinion poll and 98% of the people I spoke to responded that they would hold their partners responsible for stepping out on them, not the side piece.

The remaining 2% said if their spouse cheated, they would first examine themselves and try to find out if there was something they were doing wrong or not doing right. I was actually impressed because that line of thought is quite different from the norm.

What do you think about this? Kindly share your thoughts in the comments.

Dear wives, you are in the marriage with your husband, not any side chic. Your husband is accountable to you just as you are to him. It seems a lot of wives forget to hold their husbands responsible for their actions and tend to blame others instead. Instead of rushing off to engage the side chic, please speak with your husband first. Let him explain himself, let him explain to you why he broke his vows. It is not okay for your husband to cheat on you and it is certainly not okay for you to be fighting off side chics.

Side chics owe you no allegiance, your husband does. They do not have to consider your feelings or be concerned that they’re breaking up your beautiful family, your husband has to.

What do you think guys? Do leave a comment and let’s have a discussion. I would love to read your thoughts and views on this topic!

Love always,

Mrs A.

If you’re currently going through challenging times and you’d like a listening ear, some encouragement or motivation, please contact me here: talktomrsa@gmail.com

***Talk Back Tuesdays is a new interactive segment where we get to talk and share ideas on the topic of discussion, so be on the lookout every Tuesday. Videos will be included soon on my social media pages so check out the links down below the page, follow and subscribe! ***

SIDE NOTE: If there are any topics you guys would like us to discuss, kindly let me know in the comments or you can send them to my email: taltktomrsa@gmail.com. I’ll be looking forward to hearing from you all!

Posted in Inside My Head, Real Talk

Protect your energy

Hello beautiful people!
As the month brings itself to an end, I’ve spent a lot of time doing some reflections. I like to do this monthly, to kind of assess myself to see if I’m on the right track and also to refocus if I realize I’m slipping up somewhere. I have been able to outline the things I should be doing (and doing more of), what I should be focusing my energy on and what I should not be engaging in.
I believe every individual is on a mission on this earth however there are some people who are unnecessary distractions from the purpose for which we are here. Sometimes, it is the seemingly nice and unsuspecting people who are the culprits. They may or may not know that they are distracting you from your purpose but it is up to you to distinguish between who is right for you and who is not. You may be a lover of people like me but unfortunately, not everyone can go with us on this journey we are on.

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Last month, I met with a few of my sister friends over pizza (our fav) and at a point, we started talking about our goals, visions and dreams. We are all currently engaged in very different things but even with the diversity, I find our ability to support, motivate and encourage one another so, so beautiful. In that moment, I was really excited for our future, I felt so much at peace and I knew that I indeed have the best of friends. We may not always meet up or talk as we all have such busy lives now but whenever we do, we just pick it up from where we left off.
You have to be able to critically examine yourself and the people in your life; check who is adding value and worth to your life, and who is not. Check who is cheering you on and who is draining your energy.

pastedImageCan I talk about human leeches for a minute?
Have you ever come across someone who seems to take so much from you but doesn’t give you that much in return?
Take, take, take it all, but you never give’Bruno Mars, Grenade.
This person could be taking your time, money, joy, peace or even your energy. You know, the kind of people who leave you drained after speaking to them and no, I’m not referring to people who come and confide in you concerning a particular challenge. I’m talking about those who always seem to have numerous problems that they like to dump on you regardless of how you may be feeling at the given time. They are always feeling blue and the clouds are always dark in their lives. (I’m sure you’re thinking of someone now)
Please understand that as much as You are not for everybody, not everyone is for you. The more you adopt your true self, the more likeminded people you’ll draw toward you and in the same way, the people who don’t fit will be expelled from your life. Always remember that not everyone can go on this wonderful, crazy life journey that you’re on so don’t hold on to dead weight.

Protect your energy and be sure to do what’s best for you, even if no one understands that.

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Love always,

Mrs. A!

If you’re currently going through challenging times and you’d like a listening ear, some encouragement or motivation, please contact me here: talktomrsa@gmail.com

Posted in Inside My Head, Inspirational, Real Talk

Day 20: Life of a wife

Hello beautiful people!

So I don’t think anyone is ever fully prepared to be a wife. You may go through pre-marital counseling, hear all the model stories to motivate you and read countless books but there’s nothing like actually living the married life and putting whatever you’ve read or heard into practice.

More often than not, we hear and see a never ending list of things wives are supposed to do to ‘keep’ their husbands but I love the saying that goes like “you can’t keep someone who doesn’t want to be kept“. I know many women who feel overwhelmed by this seemingly impossible list of ways to please the hubby without seeing an equivalent of it for the men but another story for another day.

Before we got married, my hubs and I had reached an understanding that marriage is not 50/50 like some people say, it is 100/100: both parties giving their all, so each person has to focus on putting in enough effort to give their partner 100%.

As a wife, Mr A is my topmost priority. I have the task of making sure that he is okay in every aspect of his life and where he’s not, I have to support, encourage and root for him so that he gets there. I can’t be okay when he’s not.

Besides everything, the most valuable thing I can ever offer him is my prayers.

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One of the best wedding gifts I received 

This is an amazing book that helped me in the first few months of marriage when I was still trying to find my feet. It gives you such realistic and meaningful prayers to say over every area of your husband’s life. It is centered on how he can be the best version of himself as a husband, father and an individual so don’t let the title put you off from grabbing a copy! It is actually meant to make him a better hubby to you😉 (Who doesn’t want this?!)

Prayer is such a priceless yet affordable gift you can give to your husband at all times. Please do it frequently. Everyday is an opportunity to learn how to be a better wife to him and a better individual generally.

Most important thing I’ve learned as a wife?

Our marriage is between us two only, no one else has a say and even if they do, their opinions shouldn’t be binding on us.   

My life as his wife is a wonderful yet challenging experience and my heart is at peace knowing that he’s the one I agreed to be with for life!

Share with me some of your experiences and lessons you’ve learnt as a wife. I would love to hear them.

Always here if you need to talk: talktomrsa@gmail.com

Love always,

Mrs. A

Posted in Inspirational, Real Talk, Romance

Day 17: Couple Goals

Hello beautiful people!

This term ‘couple goals’ has been the in thing for some time now. It seems every couple that goes viral on the internet is ‘goals’ and this leads to severe disappointment when said couple breaks up (been there 😒).

After a certain popular YouTube couple had a very messy breakup, I was jolted back to reality; these people are regular human beings just like you and I. They are not super-humans and what we see on the internet is just a fraction of their lives that they choose to show us. Nobody’s relationship is as perfect as it looks on camera.

I think everyone should strive to be ‘couple goals’. Sometimes, we focus so much on other people’s lives that we tend to overlook ours. In paying so much attention to another person’s relationship/marriage, we lose sight of how unique and special ours is and start wishing to be in the other couples’ shoes. (Please don’t be that person)

Your relationship/marriage is really what you make it, no one is going to make it fun and exciting for you. Yeah it’s cool to admire other couples but don’t be so hung up on them. If there’s something they’re doing that’s you like, try to adopt and modify it to suit your relationship/marriage. Please don’t go blaming your partner for not being as ‘cool’ as the YouTube couple you’ve been watching, introduce whatever new idea you’ve got to your partner with love.

Always remember that your marriage/relationship can be whatever you want it to be. It’s up to you really, and you too can be ‘goals’.

Always here if you need to talk: talktomrsa@gmail.com

Love always,

Mrs. A

Posted in Inspirational, Real Talk

Day 14: Made you Smile today

Hello beautiful people!

I’m so excited to bring you today’s post which was so beautifully written by one of my dearest sister-friends, Ama Kokuenua Nunoo. I was so touched by this and I believe you will be blessed too.

Enjoy!

” No! No! NO! You kept telling yourself each time. Is it that you are not beautiful? Do you feel inadequate? Why do you allow yourself to sink so low when you know you are better than this! You are SMART, BEAUTIFUL, CARING, LOVING, NURTURING, EMPATHETIC and GOD FEARING. FAMILY means the world to you, because they got you 100%. Oh yes, you feel like strangling them once in a while, with the constant teasing, bossiness, and somewhat too much interest in what you do. BUT you know it is because they LOVE you.

So why, why do you allow normal desires of the flesh and wishful thinking steal your joy? Tell me why? You know you are capable of everything you set your mind to not because you hear it all the time or have read it elsewhere because you are a product of that saying. You ventured into a territory you knew little about, almost run away in the beginning, doubted your intelligence and your abilities, now see, see how you shine, in the brightest way possible with a grateful heart towards your maker, because without HIM you will not have survived a day in this journey.
Some relationships have been severed because not everyone buys into your vision. Your growth is scary. So they try to knock you down, or discourage you or make you feel guilty about your little strides, and sometimes they get you! You do feel sorry for your progress or sometimes wonder if you have done things differently to have them with you, but my dear beautiful, intelligent, strong young woman, listen you owe no one an explanation for your progress.

It does get lonely, really lonely sometimes, but deep down you know, that you are fine, that you will be fine. You were used to the attention but my dear, it was all for the wrong reasons. They were no good for you. You made some mistakes, and let some amazing people walk out of your life, it’s alright you know. At least you realise your mistake and it is a lesson well learnt. How can you forget the amazing friendships that have helped you through some of the toughest days. The little ANGELS God handpicked for you. The love you have for them is beyond description and their support means the world to you.

Sweetheart, just be mindful of yourself, don’t lose your humanity, give back to society and be grateful to God always for your journey. ”

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Go ahead girl, there is nothing you can’t do!

 

Wow Ama! This really spoke to me and it more than made me smile. Thank you so much for blessing us with this meaningful piece. God bless your kind heart always. Love you sis!😘❤️

For encouragement, motivation, collaborations or networking, contact me: talktomrsa@gmail.com

Love always,

Mrs. A

Posted in Inspirational, Real Talk

My Blessing in Disguise

Hello beautiful people!

I’d like to share with you all what I call my blessing in disguise. Now even though this is normally described as something that at first seems bad, but later turns out to be beneficial, I won’t call it ‘bad’ in my case. It was rather difficult and exhausting because it really took a lot for me to keep it going.

So, I would describe myself as an extroverted introvert; I can be very sociable and friendly but I also would very much love to hurry home and be by myself.

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introvert problems

I really love people and I love interacting with them but I also love being in my own space. I used to joke about how I should have been named ‘Silence’ after my grandma because like her, I’m very quiet and reserved by nature (I know some people will beg to differ but this is the gospel). Sometimes I even tell hubs to be quiet just so I can enjoy a few minutes of silence  IMG_2501 but thank God for an understanding hubby! If you know my husband, then you know how much of a talkative he is! Oh my goodness, I thought my mom could talk but this wonderful man is right up there with her! It was quite exhausting for me when we first met (imagine an introvert having to talk to an extrovert ALL the time) and I always felt drained after our conversations because like I mentioned in this post, Out of the Sheets & into the Streets  all we did during our dating period was talk, talk and talk. It’s actually a great thing to be able to carry a conversation for so long and I admire him for that, but then it was overwhelming for the introverted part of me. I would always say to him in Twi (our local dialect): “Wo p3 kasa ooo!” meaning he loves talking and though naturally I would have preferred to stay quiet, I began learning to talk too and we starting having really great conversations for hours on end!

You’re probably wondering where I’m going with this but let me quickly share what we call my husband’s dictionary definition of ‘blessing in disguise’: If you say that something is a blessing in disguise, you mean that it causes problems and difficulties at first but later you realize that it was the best thing that could have happened. – Collins Dictionary

In the beginning of our relationship, talking to Mr A was difficult for me. I loved his company, I loved being on the phone to him but he dominated most of our conversations. Now, we can’t seem to figure out who likes talking more (I still believe it’s him hehe) and I always say to him that if we had a talk show, we would have to hold up signs to indicate whose turn it is to talk.

Beloved, all that talking was my blessing in disguise. I used to see it as exhausting and draining but little did I know that it was training me for my future. Everything I’ve ever wanted to be involves extensive talking and how would I succeed at it if I don’t want to talk? Currently, what I’m involved in pays you to talk or rather, you talk and get paid and every day, I realize Mr A bombarding me with nonstop talk is actually one of the best things that could have happened because had it not been for that, I really don’t know how I could do what I’m doing now. I won’t call myself a talkative, I’m still an extroverted introvert, who is learning to talk more but I am better off now than I was before. I definitely won’t name myself ‘Silence’ now lol although I still love me some peace and quiet!

Today, take a look around you. Is there anything that annoys or irritates you? Is there something you’re doing that feels like a chore, which overwhelms and exhausts you? Please don’t be too quick to dismiss it or write it off, it could be your blessing in disguise! Also, don’t look down on anybody who seems to be a ‘nobody’ today and don’t be too quick to cut people off because you’ll never know who will be a blessing to you tomorrow.

Has there been anything in your life that turned out to be a blessing in disguise? Kindly share it with me in the comment box, I’d love to read all about it!

Always remember how much you are loved and cherished by God.

Love always,

Mrs A.

If you’re currently going through challenging times and you’d like a listening ear, some encouragement or motivation, please contact me here: talktomrsa@gmail.com

 

Posted in Inspirational, Real Talk, Straight Outta My Heart

Keep Shining

Hello beautiful people!

I just got back home from the doctor’s, I took my mom for a free eye consultation (thanks to Lotus Opticals in Sakumono!) and when the optician came in I realized it was someone I know. I did my confirmation at church with her about 6 years ago or so and it was really great seeing her again, doing so well.

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Trying on some frames @ Lotus Opticals

Observing someone else’s success was different for me this time. I’m the type of person to clap the loudest when people I know or don’t even know are winning in life. I totally love to see my friends and strangers even, doing their own thing and being successful at it BUT I always looked down on and bashed myself after for not being where I wanted to be yet. I always saw myself as a failure for struggling so much, not realizing that those struggles always give me great stories to tell after I had gone through them, which motivates and inspires many people. This time, I was content and comfortable; I appreciated her success but I wasn’t comparing my progress in life with hers or bashing myself. I was actually genuinely happy for her without feeling some type of way about myself.

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Image Source: http://instagram.com/heatherllove

I have always been one of the youngest in every class or setting I find myself, probably because I started school a tad bit earlier than the recommended age and growing up, I’ve realized that being so ambitious and such a big dreamer bothered me sometimes. There is so much I want to do and achieve, so many plans and ideas I want to implement and sometimes I wonder if I can do them all. I often used to compare my page 1 to other people’s page 100, forgetting that almost all of them were way older than I was and that was my come-up so I definitely had to go through it. I’ve never been patient with the process; I always wanted to jump from one season to the next when I felt it was time, not when God said so and my impatience often led me to make not so good decisions which I could have avoided had I just trusted God. Again I say that this life is a journey and we are all on different paths and assignments so you can’t compare yours to anyone else’s. You just have to focus on what you’re doing and do it to the best of your ability, you’d never know who is watching.

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Image Source: http://instagram.com/heatherllove

This one is for all the overly ambitious young people (myself included) who feel like they’re not doing enough, they’re not going to make it or they’re left behind while everyone around them is making moves. I’m here to tell you that your time is coming! In no time, the spotlight is going to be on you only if you keep at whatever you’re doing faithfully, whether big or small. Sometimes we want to have large audiences and big platforms before we let our lights shine but we don’t realize that we can brighten the corner wherever we are or find ourselves.

My sis posted this on Facebook this morning and I really felt her on this one.

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Eet can pain!!!

Honestly, it can get really discouraging knowing that certain people always see what you’re doing but simply refuse to support you buuut we always have to remind ourselves that 1. We are not for everyone (check out my post on this here: You are not for everybody) and 2. Our ministry/calling/purpose in life is not meant for everyone but it is definitely meant for someone so if the people we think have to support us don’t, we have to go on and do it anyway. Whoever it’s meant for is benefiting greatly from it, whether you know it or not.

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Image Source: http://instagram.com/heatherllove

In the beginning, I also used to feel discouraged sometimes, seeing that not everyone liked or supported what I was doing but when I had a full understanding of this, I freed myself from that burden and started soaring. Now I definitely am seeing who it’s meant for and who it’s not and I thank God for that! So my darlings be encouraged! Instead of feeling down when you notice some people don’t support you, thank God for opening your eyes to that and focus on those who do support and encourage you. If you don’t have anyone like that yet, don’t worry, you will certainly attract the right kind of people to you as you’re walking in your purpose and oh, I’m also right here, supporting and cheering you on every step of the way!

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Image Source: http://instagram.com/heatherllove

Go out there and do what you believe you’ve been called to do with all gladness and flourish while you’re at it. You are amazing and your efforts are greatly appreciated. Go on, shine your light and let the whole world see.

(As much as this post would minister to someone, it has ministered to me the most to be honest!)

Never forget how much your father God loves you.

Love always,

Mrs. A

If you’re currently going through challenging times and you’d like a listening ear, some encouragement or motivation, please contact me here: talktomrsa@gmail.com