Posted in Inspirational, Straight Outta My Heart

Going through a hard time?

Never would have made it…
Never could have made it without you…

Hello beautiful people!
I woke up yesterday with this song on my heart. Last month was such an emotional roller coaster for me. With stress from work and life in general, news of deaths, experiencing disappointments and having so many uncertainties but still having to keep it together, my emotions were really all over the place.

I would have lost my mind, I would have gave up but you were right there…
Have you ever gone through anything that made you feel as if you were going to lose your mind?
I felt that way several times last month. There was so much unrest in my mind. My sanity was at stake and so many times I would say, “I don’t know how I’m still doing this.”

Now here comes my favourite line of the song and I listen to this song a lot, but yesterday this part really stood out to me:
I would have lost it all but now I see how you were there for me…
This part really touched me!
Can we be honest here for a minute believers? How many of us feel like we’re all by ourselves when we’re going through a really rough time? I’m talking about a very tight situation which looks really hopeless. How many of us feel like God is silent through our tests? I know I do.
I can praise, I can worship, I can pray and even though I know I haven’t been forsaken, I still feel like I’m doing it alone.
But oh, once I get through that storm, that’s when I have the “now I see” moment.

Ha! I feel like doing a little dance here.

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Now I see how you were there for me: That was how I was still doing it! When I wondered how I was still sane, how I could still smile, how I could still get work done, it was simply because He was there for me the whole time.
This brings tears to my eyes because if I was running on my own strength, I would have messed up big time. I would have lost it all. I would have been telling a different story today.
I guess sometimes we expect fireworks and big bangs to know He is with us but I’ve learned that in the midst of all the chaos, confusion and what appears to be silence on His part, He is right there with us.
When I look back over what He brought me through, I realise I made it because I had you to hold on to…
Honestly, when I look back at the situation I’ve just gone through, I can say for a fact that I didn’t do that on my own. There were many times when I felt so weak, when I felt like I couldn’t get through another day but the day would come and I’ll make it through. How? Because I had Him to hold on to.
I’m sharing this today because I know there’s someone somewhere going through a similar situation. I know there’s someone who has been waiting for something for so long that it’s beginning to look impossible. I know that you’re probably at your breaking point and you don’t want to hear another “just stay strong” sermon so I just want to assure you that:
1.You’re not alone. No matter how your situation looks or how you feel, you are not alone. You have me, someone who has been there and totally understands but more importantly, you have God who will never leave nor forsake you. If you can’t talk to anyone, talk or write to Him. (I express myself better in writing so when my words fail me, I write to God)
2.This too shall pass. No matter how long it seems to be taking, even though it looks like for you alone there’s no light at the end of the tunnel, the truth is that there is. Even though it looks like it has been stormy forever, the sun will come out. There has never been a day without the night, neither has it ever been nighttime for 24 hours. It will pass for you to look back thank God that you made it. I pray that when it passes, you too will encourage someone going through the same thing.

Love always,

Mrs A.

If you’re currently going through challenging times and you’d like a listening ear, some encouragement or motivation, please contact me here: talktomrsa@gmail.com

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Posted in Inside My Head, Straight Outta My Heart

Day 19: Family

Hello beautiful people!

Featuring in today’s post is my own little family  ❤️

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From L-R: lil man in the corner, oldest brother Oris, HusBae, yours truly, my mom and second older brother Emmanuel 

I love this photo because it captures my two families; the one I’ve always had and the new one I had just joined so beautifully.

I have quite a small family but boy was I glad to have a new family made up of just 2 people 🤣 sorry mom. In all honesty, more often than not, family can be somewhat overbearing for a very reserved person like me. I mostly want to be by myself and speak to no one but there’s no such thing when you’re with family. (I’m currently typing this at my mom’s place with everyone here. Just imagine how that’s going).

However, I am thoroughly enjoying myself and having a good laugh as lil man is putting on a show. HusBae also fits right in and could pass for my mom’s son because the two of them are so alike in many ways and when I see them talking, I actually feel like the odd one out lol🙄

Yeah they can be overbearing but they also love the hardest and protect me the most. (Well I shouldn’t expect anything less as I’m the last baby 😇). If I ever doubted their love for me, the last couple of years have proved to me that when everyone leaves, family stays and when everything goes south, family will stick up for you.

Cherish and appreciate your family whilst they’re still around. There’s no point in writing long eulogies when they’re dead and can’t hear them, show them love now that they’re here.

S/O to my extended family as well. Y’all are awesome too! My favorite memory of my family is when the photographer called for the ‘couple with the bride’s family’ shot at our wedding and my entire extended family came up to the altar to stand with us. We almost didn’t fit in the photo because they were so many but that moment was so beautiful and heartwarming for me & it’s etched in my heart forever.

Dear family, I love you all more than you’d ever know.

Love always,

Mrs. A

If you ever need to talk, feel free to drop a mail: talktomrsa@gmail.com

Posted in Straight Outta My Heart

Day 18: Cute Kid

Hello beautiful people!

Look at the cute kid we have for today’s challenge 😁

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my munchkin & I

It’s cute how he runs to give me a big hug when I get back from work and when he tells me to bring my forehead and cheeks for kisses (yup he learnt early).

He’s got a big part of my heart forever ❤️

Let’s talk if you need to: talktomrsa@gmail.com

Love always,

Mrs. A

Posted in Inspirational, Straight Outta My Heart

Delays?

Hello beautiful people!

This topic has been on my heart the whole of this week because of something amazing that happened to me. I know I write a lot about trusting God and waiting on Him for something that seems to be taking long but that is because it is something I’ve personally had to deal with a lot in my life and I also see many people facing it, so why not encourage them as I encourage myself too?

I’ve written about how certain things seem to happen for us sooner than we expect and of course that always makes us happy, so we look up with excitement and say “God I know that was you!” but on the other hand when things seem to delay, how do we react? What do we say? What do we think of God then? Like I wrote here God’s Time Vrs Our Time, there are so many things I’ve had to wait for in my life that had already happened for everyone around me. I always seemed to ‘carry last’ and would often cry out to God and as usual, ask

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I didn’t know of the principle of times and seasons then so I just expected things to happen when I thought they had to, so if there were any delays, I would think I was not doing something right and start wondering if God was forgetting about me. It sounds ridiculous just typing it out now because really, HOW can God forget about me, the apple of His eye?

God can never forget about you!

I’d like to share this really popular scripture that talks about times and seasons. Ecclesiastes 3:1 (KJV): ‘To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.’ (ERV): ‘There is a right time for everything, and everything on earth will happen at the right time.’

When I finally understood this, I stopped fretting, took a huge sigh of relief and I rested! I pray right now that by the end of this post, you my dear reader, will get this insight and find that rest too. I’m going to share with you two things that really put my mind to ease and enabled me enter this rest:

  1. The way I see God/my knowledge of God– Growing up, I thought I knew God. I mean I knew there was God but I didn’t know him intimately. I knew him as an entity who was very far away, who sat high up in the clouds to watch and record my every move, who could get angry at me and punish me when I did certain things, and reward me only when I did some other specific things. Thank God I have grown out of that! My view of God changed when I began to see him as MY father. Psalm 68:5 talks about God being a father to the fatherless and because my dad is late, I have personally taken God as MY own father. My relationship with him did a 180 degree turn when I began to relate to him as my dad instead of the distant God I knew. When my dad was alive, he loved and cared for me, and provided all my needs. Yes he did discipline me and kept me in check, but he never threw me out, threatened me or deliberately denied me of my needs even if I did something wrong, and this was my father who was just a man. If a man who can lie/change gave me good things, why wouldn’t God give me even better? (Matthew 7: 9-11) I am simply unable to see God as anything short of a loving father. This is someone who is not a human being, he has no flaws, weaknesses or shortcomings; he is perfect. Just imagine the kind of love that would flow from this perfect source, obviously it would supersede an earthly father’s. This brings me to my point. So this loving father of ours created and owns everything in this world, do you really think he would deny you of any good thing that you ask him for? Are you wondering why it looks as if some of your requests are being denied? I’ll address that in #2.

 

  1. My understanding of times & seasons– I have now come to understand fully that there is indeed a time for everything. Ecclesiastes 3: 2-8 throws more light on the different seasons and times in life. I love how verse 1 says there is a right time for everything and everything on earth will happen at the right time. That means there are also times that are ‘wrong’ for some things to happen; like a baby can’t be born just after a month of being pregnant and a baby won’t walk right after being born. Sometimes, certain things you ask for or pray about will not happen but that doesn’t mean God is bad, or wicked or that he has forgotten about you, it just means it is not the right time yet! Life is full of times & seasons and as long as there is day and night, rain and sun, things will always change. I read something in the book of John and I was so amazed by it that I’ve read it over and over again. On 2 different occasions (John 7:30 & 8:20) the people couldn’t arrest Jesus because what? The right time for him had not yet come. The repetition of this spoke so deeply to me and made me realize that nothing will happen until it is the right/set time for it to. That really helped me to relax and stop being so hard on myself. I mean even Jesus’ arrest which would lead to his crucifixion had an appointed time. A few chapters ahead when Jesus was praying, he mentioned that the time/hour had come. Then after praying, he was arrested. Understanding this principle helps you do away with worrying about the when’s and how’s, and makes you confident that even though nothing might be happening for you currently, it is definitely going to happen at the right time and in the right season.
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Love this!

I have always heard that just because you cannot see what God is doing behind the scenes doesn’t mean that He isn’t working on your behalf and I believe this is so true! I’ve had times when it looked like there was nothing going on for me, I’ve felt like my life was at a standstill while everyone else was moving forward and if you’re in this place right now let me just tell you that your big break is coming! Yes nothing seems to be working out physically but it doesn’t mean that things aren’t working out spiritually. I have tried to rush out of my dry seasons but going through them taught me patience, endurance and perseverance.

I know how difficult it can be to believe that anything good is going to come out of your situation, trust me, I’ve been there but your heavenly father can see the full picture and believe me when I say it’s a very beautiful one. These are not just words I’m typing flippantly, I mean every bit of it because I have personally experienced it. Waiting for that right time/big break can be really hard, you may be tempted to lose faith or give up hope, you may begin to have doubts but the wonderful thing about God is that He’s so faithful and he never fails. Keep holding on, keep believing in him and always praise him in advance!

Do keep in mind that your daddy God loves you so much and would never withhold any good thing from you.

Love always,

Mrs. A

If you’re currently going through challenging times and you’d like a listening ear, some encouragement or motivation, please contact me here: talktomrsa@gmail.com

 

Posted in Inside My Head, Spiritual, Straight Outta My Heart

Not only with our Lips but in our Lives

Hello beautiful people!

I know it’s late but my heart is grieving so much over this particular verse hubs and I came to during Bible study last night.

Colossians 2:6 AMP

“Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, walk in [union with] Him [reflecting His character in the things you do and say -living lives that lead others away from sin]”

I know that this letter was not written directly to us believers today, as we are not the church in Colossae but since we have also received Christ, I believe we can apply this to our present day lives and learn a thing or two.

So I believe this verse is telling us to walk with Christ and keep following Him as we have come to know Him but the amplified version breaks it down further to talk about exactly how to do this, which is what grieved my heart so much.

  1. We have to reflect His character in the things we do and say. Ooh I can stay here all day. To show that we (believers) really have received Christ as we claim we have, we have to live our lives in a way that reflects His character. This touched me so much because even I, by my human nature, don’t live my life this way but by I’m able to do this by His grace only. Now you all know I’m no Judge Judy and I’m not even trying to condemn anyone here because I’m nowhere near perfect, but when I look around me, I don’t see a majority of us believers reflecting Christ’s character in the things we do and say, let’s all be honest here. Lately, you can’t even tell a believer from a non-believer because most of us are all living the same lifestyles but then we like to point out their mistakes and call them sinners. One of the guiding principles I’m now trying to use in every situation of my life is ‘WWJD- What would Jesus Do?’ because if we say we are followers of Christ then of course our aim should be to emulate His life, but is that what we are doing? Or am I getting something wrong? What exactly does it mean to be a follower of Christ?
  2. We should live lives that lead others away from sin. As believers, do we live our lives in a way that deters people from sinning? I really can’t think far on this one. If we say we are the light of the world and salt of the earth, is it not our lifestyles that would prove that, not our words? It looks to me like there are too many of us believers today loudly proclaiming the message of salvation to the world with our mouths and words but not with our lifestyles. We can shout and proclaim the gospel but do our lives reflect what we preach? There are so many of us living in unforgiveness, hate, greed, malice and wickedness (but we don’t see these ones as sin though!) and it’s no surprise that we are condemned so much by the world because our acts always contradict our speeches. I love how Peter puts this in 1 Peter 3:1-2 ERV (I’m using this version here because I love how it broke the message down):

“In the same way, you wives should be willing to serve your husbands. Then, even those who have refused to accept God’s teaching will be persuaded to believe because of the way you live. You will not need to say anything. Your husbands will see the pure lives that you live with respect for God.”

The amplified version says: “…so that even if some do not obey the word [of God], they may be won over [to Christ] without discussion by the godly lives of their wives…”

Heissshhh, what a word! So you mean to tell me people can actually be persuaded to believe in God because of the way we live?! Without discussion?! We don’t have to clap, shout or scare people into ‘repenting’ or believing God?!

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Me right now

Now I know he was referring to wives here but can you see how believers today can benefit from this if we practiced it? If we really want to ‘win souls for the kingdom’ like we always say then I think it’s only walking in love and living lives which reflects Christ’s character that would do the trick. Enough with all the long talk and scary repentance messages; show a person the unconditional love that is talked about in 1 Corinthians 13, let your daily life match the words you preach and watch the person transform before your very eyes. I have seen it happen with a person very close to me so I can testify to this. Trust me, it’s not always in the words, it is mostly in the deeds!

Remember how much your Father God loves you, and love others the same way too.

Love always,

Mrs A.

If you’re currently going through challenging times and you’d like a listening ear, some encouragement or motivation, please contact me here: talktomrsa@gmail.com

You can also connect with me on my social media pages linked way down below this page xx.

Posted in Inspirational, Real Talk, Straight Outta My Heart

Keep Shining

Hello beautiful people!

I just got back home from the doctor’s, I took my mom for a free eye consultation (thanks to Lotus Opticals in Sakumono!) and when the optician came in I realized it was someone I know. I did my confirmation at church with her about 6 years ago or so and it was really great seeing her again, doing so well.

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Trying on some frames @ Lotus Opticals

Observing someone else’s success was different for me this time. I’m the type of person to clap the loudest when people I know or don’t even know are winning in life. I totally love to see my friends and strangers even, doing their own thing and being successful at it BUT I always looked down on and bashed myself after for not being where I wanted to be yet. I always saw myself as a failure for struggling so much, not realizing that those struggles always give me great stories to tell after I had gone through them, which motivates and inspires many people. This time, I was content and comfortable; I appreciated her success but I wasn’t comparing my progress in life with hers or bashing myself. I was actually genuinely happy for her without feeling some type of way about myself.

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Image Source: http://instagram.com/heatherllove

I have always been one of the youngest in every class or setting I find myself, probably because I started school a tad bit earlier than the recommended age and growing up, I’ve realized that being so ambitious and such a big dreamer bothered me sometimes. There is so much I want to do and achieve, so many plans and ideas I want to implement and sometimes I wonder if I can do them all. I often used to compare my page 1 to other people’s page 100, forgetting that almost all of them were way older than I was and that was my come-up so I definitely had to go through it. I’ve never been patient with the process; I always wanted to jump from one season to the next when I felt it was time, not when God said so and my impatience often led me to make not so good decisions which I could have avoided had I just trusted God. Again I say that this life is a journey and we are all on different paths and assignments so you can’t compare yours to anyone else’s. You just have to focus on what you’re doing and do it to the best of your ability, you’d never know who is watching.

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Image Source: http://instagram.com/heatherllove

This one is for all the overly ambitious young people (myself included) who feel like they’re not doing enough, they’re not going to make it or they’re left behind while everyone around them is making moves. I’m here to tell you that your time is coming! In no time, the spotlight is going to be on you only if you keep at whatever you’re doing faithfully, whether big or small. Sometimes we want to have large audiences and big platforms before we let our lights shine but we don’t realize that we can brighten the corner wherever we are or find ourselves.

My sis posted this on Facebook this morning and I really felt her on this one.

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Eet can pain!!!

Honestly, it can get really discouraging knowing that certain people always see what you’re doing but simply refuse to support you buuut we always have to remind ourselves that 1. We are not for everyone (check out my post on this here: You are not for everybody) and 2. Our ministry/calling/purpose in life is not meant for everyone but it is definitely meant for someone so if the people we think have to support us don’t, we have to go on and do it anyway. Whoever it’s meant for is benefiting greatly from it, whether you know it or not.

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Image Source: http://instagram.com/heatherllove

In the beginning, I also used to feel discouraged sometimes, seeing that not everyone liked or supported what I was doing but when I had a full understanding of this, I freed myself from that burden and started soaring. Now I definitely am seeing who it’s meant for and who it’s not and I thank God for that! So my darlings be encouraged! Instead of feeling down when you notice some people don’t support you, thank God for opening your eyes to that and focus on those who do support and encourage you. If you don’t have anyone like that yet, don’t worry, you will certainly attract the right kind of people to you as you’re walking in your purpose and oh, I’m also right here, supporting and cheering you on every step of the way!

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Image Source: http://instagram.com/heatherllove

Go out there and do what you believe you’ve been called to do with all gladness and flourish while you’re at it. You are amazing and your efforts are greatly appreciated. Go on, shine your light and let the whole world see.

(As much as this post would minister to someone, it has ministered to me the most to be honest!)

Never forget how much your father God loves you.

Love always,

Mrs. A

If you’re currently going through challenging times and you’d like a listening ear, some encouragement or motivation, please contact me here: talktomrsa@gmail.com

 

 

Posted in Straight Outta My Heart, This & That

Love Overflow

Hello beautiful people!

This is just a quick one before we all run off into the sunset to enjoy the weekend.

As I grow older and with each passing day, it is becoming so important for me to be more selfless and less self-centered; more loving, caring and supportive.

The more I see people operate in wickedness, the more I want to show love.

I have got this big beating heart overflowing with love and I just want to share it with everybody. I realize daily how totally irrelevant it is to hold things against people, to tell petty lies and to incite hatred in people’s hearts for others when our lives are so short; here today, dead tomorrow.

I remember back in primary school, if our friend wasn’t speaking to someone, automatically we (group of friends) all wouldn’t speak to that person too. It sounds so absurd to me right now because I see no sense in that but back then, I did it too!

My heart bleeds when I see so much hatred, unforgiveness and plain wickedness among believers, not to talk of the rest of the world. I always wonder to myself what the relevance of all this is really. We have just one life and this is how we want to live it? Full of anger, strife, bitterness, greed and envy?

One of the things that always prevented me from holding things against people was the thought of them dying, with me still holding that grudge. Now I know some people wouldn’t care at all if their enemies lived or died, but I don’t have that kind of heart. I would never be able to stand it, knowing someone I had an issue with died before we could reconcile and that’s why I don’t wait for people to apologize to me before I forgive them. I will forgive and love you even if you won’t love me back; I don’t lose anything.

You know how they say you can’t give what you don’t have? Well my love tank is overflowing and I have lots of love to give! (I’m feeling Philippians 1:9 right now)

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Well I know not everyone has a heart like mine or was built like me, but I choose to see the good in people rather than the bad and I believe everyone is capable of loving and being loved because we are all children of the Father of love.

This weekend, show someone new some love, and if you’ve neglected the people around you for a while, get involved in their lives! Bless someone with your time and attention, it doesn’t always have to be cash. That kind word or compliment you give can change someone’s whole demeanor.

Smile! It makes you look warm and approachable. Make new friends and be friendly, no man is an island.

When I’m gone, I want to be remembered as the one who always loved and cared for all people. My fulfillment comes from knowing that I have been able to help someone, impact a life positively and cause a change with the free gifts God has given me.

I’ve done some digging around and I realize there are so many people who are suffering in silence (I used to be one of them); people who have serious problems but can’t talk to anyone for fear of being judged, criticized, misunderstood or made fun of. I have spoken with many of such people over the phone and via text/instant messages but I have come to understand that is not enough. There are people who need more than just a one-off chat, who need emotional support for some time and when they don’t find it anywhere, they keep suffering in silence and begin to feel stuck in the situations they’re struggling with.

In light of this, I am looking to plan a meet-up for a very few group of women, say 5 ladies who are dating and looking to get married but know they have hard issues in their current relationships which they can’t look past. This is something I have experienced myself so I know how hard it can be, that is why I want to offer my help, freely and willingly. If someone did it for me, I can do it for others too. It will be a judgement-free zone and a safe place for us all to talk freely, pray, study, share ideas and find solutions to these problems. It is also an opportunity for us to have godly sisters we can trust and count on. I believe this is the start of something great and God will definitely see us through. I have experienced some pretty rough things in this area of concern and I know for a fact that with God’s help, everyone going through something similar will also come out victoriously like I did. To be very honest after everything I had been through, I had no idea where my husband was going to come from or if I’d even ever get married and have my own family, but look at God.

Again, this will be totally free. It is a voluntary service I would like to offer so if you’re interested or you know anyone who might be, kindly send a mail to talktomrsa@gmail.com to indicate your interest. I will proceed with further arrangements and contact everyone when everything is finalized. I’m looking to take on this small number for now because I want to be able to connect personally with everyone present and I want our sessions to be very intimate and cozy. I want everyone to feel free and involved, not overwhelmed with large numbers.  I’d be honored to meet with you.

Always remember how much God loves you. Enjoy your weekend!

Love always,

Mrs. A

If you’re currently going through challenging times and you’d like a listening ear, some encouragement or motivation, please contact me here: talktomrsa@gmail.com

Posted in Inside My Head, Spiritual, Straight Outta My Heart

Let Love Lead

Hello beautiful people!

I almost didn’t post today because I have been so immersed in studies but I didn’t want a day to pass by without doing what I’ve been called to do. So during my bible study this morning, I came across some scriptures and the realization of how far we have strayed from them hit me so hard, I just stopped in my tracks and pondered on it for a long time; I couldn’t even read past those lines. In fact, I was so burdened by it that I posted it to my Facebook to seek answers from other discerning minds. Let me share it here:

John 17:20-23 Amplified Bible (AMP)

“20 I do not pray for these alone [it is not for their sake alone that I make this request], but also for [all] those who [will ever] believe and trust in Me through their message, 21 that they all may be one; just as You, Father are in Me and I in You, that they also may be one in Us, so that the world may believe [without any doubt] that You sent Me.

22 I have given to them the glory and honor which You have given Me, that they may be one, just as We are one; 23 I in them and You in Me, that they may be perfected and completed into one, so that the world may know [without any doubt] that You sent Me, and [that You] have loved them, just as You have loved Me.

This was Jesus’ prayer for all believers before he was betrayed and arrested. Just reading this again is making me so emotional, I feel like crying right now to be honest. Oh my goodness! Where did we go wrong? I have studied various versions of these verses and each version still grieves my heart. This is Jesus, savior of the whole world praying earnestly to his father, our father in heaven that all of us (believers) and those who will ever believe, may be one in Him so looking around me and not seeing that oneness is what’s making my heart so heavy. He said this would make the world believe that He was truly sent by God and it just makes me wonder, what if one of the reasons why the world finds it so hard to believe is because we the believers are so divided? So many different churches, so many different doctrines, if I was an unbeliever and I listened to them all, I would wonder which is which.

The question I asked on my Facebook this morning was, “Are we all one?” That was among several of the other questions I was asking myself; why are there so many divisions in the church? What is that oneness Jesus prayed for? Is it possible for all believers to be perfectly one? I have been having several discussions today, trying to get to the root of this problem of division we see in the body of Christ and though I haven’t completed my research yet, I have come to a premature solution to the problem which I believe when practiced, there would be less divisions and separations or probably none at all! Personally, I believe love is the foundation of our faith because there would have been no ultimate sacrifice (Jesus Christ) if there was no love- John 3:16. Jesus gave us 2 commandments; to love God and to love our neighbors and I strongly believe if we (believers) all practiced this, we would have fewer problems in the world. Can you imagine the difference we would make in our communities, not to talk of our countries and the world as a whole if ALL believers practiced the agape love that Jesus spoke of? Today I just want to encourage you my dear readers, to let love lead in everything you do.

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A couple of months ago, I got so engrossed with myself and my own issues, not bothering about anything or anyone else and when I came to, I felt so bad that I immediately started looking for ways I could rectify it. I couldn’t believe I had become that self-absorbed! Yeah fair enough, I had my own problems, as do you all, but that didn’t mean I had to lock myself up in my own world, thinking of nothing or no one else. I mean I was so caught up with myself that I didn’t even realize someone I considered a friend, who was at my marriage ceremonies and very active on my Facebook had unfriended me and I had no idea when or why, though I visited Facebook regularly. I immediately added her again and then called her up to find out what was going on, something I never would have done without the Father’s unselfish love I’ve got in me. I have learned and am still learning to love ALL men unconditionally, whether they love me back or not because that is what Jesus did and that’s what we are supposed to do if we say we are Christ-like. I mean He even said to love our enemies (Luke 6:27-35), how much more ‘friends’ who are at loggerheads with us?

It looks like it’s so easy for us believers to pray, give offerings and attend all church services but it is SO HARD for us to forgive people who offend us and to love everyone unconditionally. All the posts I have seen that talk about cutting people off in a second when they offend us are put up by Christians, many of whom I know and I’m not condemning anyone because I’ve been there, done that.

Our love has always got strings attached; only if they love us too, are nice to us or if we’d get something in return but look what Jesus had to say about that: “If you [only] love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same.” Luke 6:32-33 (AMP) What are we really doing without love? Paul really goes in on his teaching on love in 1 Corinthians chapter 13 and that is by far one of my favorite verses to read. He said love is the greatest and whatever we do outside of love is basically done in vain.

While we may not be able to unite all believers in the world, I strongly believe this oneness Jesus prayed for begins with you and I making an effort to love everybody just as God loves us. That certainly would make a difference in our homes, schools, work places and churches. Little drops of water they say makes a mighty ocean and if we begin to shine our individual lights in the various places we find ourselves, just imagine how bright the whole place would be.

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Let me leave you with this: ‘Beloved, let us [unselfishly] love and seek the best for one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves [others] is born of God and knows God [through personal experience]. The one who does not love has not become acquainted with God [does not and never did know Him], for God is love. [He is the originator of love, and it is an enduring attribute of His nature.] 1 John 4:7-8 (AMP)

Always remember how much God loves you, He wants you to show others that kind of love too!

[Unconditional] Love always,

Mrs. A

If you’re currently going through challenging times and you’d like a listening ear, some encouragement or motivation, please contact me here : talktomrsa@gmail.com

 

Posted in Inspirational, Real Talk, Straight Outta My Heart

You Deserve it & More!

I should be giving you more…

I wanna give my best to you, I wanna do what you ask me to do

I wanna go wherever you say, just say the word and I’ll obey

I wanna live a life that’s real, I wanna serve you Lord for real

For you deserve all this and more, so I give you more

You’re deserving of more…I give you more

-More, Lawrence Flowers

Hello beautiful people!

This is one of my favorite love songs that I like to sing to my Father because He really does deserve the best of me and more. This song probably has no correlation to this post but I felt drawn to it when this piece dropped in my spirit earlier today. Ladies, I’m here for you again today. The reason why I lean towards the ladies so much is because there are a lot of unaddressed emotional issues we go through, on top of that list is our relationship issues and it often leads us to take certain unfavorable or extreme decisions. Some of us are great at sharing our problems with our friends but I’ve been trying to figure out what it is that prevents the rest of us from opening up and a few reasons I’ve come up with are;

  • because we are way too judgmental as a people
  • we lack empathy- we pretend to care but we don’t really
  • & we gossip a lot- when someone confides in us we end up spreading their story to everyone else.

Well this post is not about opening up or sharing your problems, I have rather come to share with you the amazing kind of love that you deserve. My husband said something to me today which is actually the root of this post. It’s not something he has never said to me before, it’s actually something he says all the time but today it just hit me like wow, what a man! You’re wondering what it is that got me huh? Lol it’s just 3 little words, nope not ‘I love you’ but ‘mepaky3w wo se?’ That is Twi (a Ghanaian local dialect) for ‘what did you say, please?’ Again you’re probably wondering what the big deal is about something this little but let me tell you if you’ve been through what I have, you’d appreciate the smallest details too.

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Dzifa in love- Final Part

That brings me to the heart of this message: respect in relationships. My husband is one of the most polite people I’ve ever known, doesn’t joke with his pleases, sorrys and thank yous. He’s actually one of those people who always say thank you to anyone who provides a service for him, like bus or cab drivers, cleaners, shop attendants or myself the wifey and even though that’s how it’s supposed to be, it still warms my heart each time. Coming from a background of verbally and emotionally abusive relationships, it’s so amazing to be with someone who treats me with respect every single time. As I’ve said before, I’m a very quiet and calm person, and one thing I detest the most is to be shouted at. I really, really dislike being shouted at whether during a misunderstanding or a regular conversation but guess who was getting shouted at constantly? I yearned so much for someone who would be gentle with me and understand me totally, basically treat me with respect but I had become so used to the opposite that I accepted it as normal. What’s worse, I also began to do same. Bad company corrupts good morals, they say, and sometimes certain attributes of the person you’re with begin to rub off on you. Imagine me, sweet spirit and calm soul shouting on top of my voice during arguments (regularly too) just to be heard or to get my point across.

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STRESS!!!!

My mom always used to query me about my regular shouting bouts whenever she heard me and I always had the same response for her, ”Do you really think this is what I want for myself?” Oh how I hated it! Look, I don’t even like talking much (I know some people will disagree lol) not to talk of having constant altercations. I yearned so much for peace of mind, for someone who would be gentle with me and understand me completely but I had also come to accept this ridiculous way of life, thinking it was all I had so I just had to ‘manage’ it, as much as I disliked it. The thought of spending the rest of my life being shouted at and disrespected killed me a little inside each time it crossed my mind but I still thought that was it for me & that was my mistake. I really should have walked out sooner because I saw misery-ever-after in the future instead of the happily ever after fairytale ending I wanted. Everyone deserves to be loved, cared for and respected on their own terms, exactly the way they want because we all have different love languages. You never have to ‘manage’, you deserve a love so overwhelming that it literally radiates from you.

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Don’t accept anything less!

I have heard a lot of people project their failures in relationships or marriages on others by generalizing statements like ‘all men cheat’ or ‘men are wicked’. Please, my beautiful daughter of the King, do not be deceived by some of these things you hear. There are still good, no actually, great men out there. When you close your eyes and imagine the kind of love you want, don’t think it’s impossible because there is someone out there who can love you like that. Don’t let anyone make you feel like your desires in a relationship are over the top, there is someone who will fulfill all those and more. The fact that the person you’re with doesn’t treat you with respect doesn’t mean you’re not worth it or no man ever will, you just haven’t met him yet. I implore you dear sis, again to take a step back and analyze your relationship. Please don’t stay for frivolous reasons such as you’ve been together for too long or you’ve invested so much so you can’t leave; if deep down in your heart you know good and well that this is not what you really desire in a relationship and you’re not truly happy as you portray, just fronting for the world like I was, then you seriously need to reconsider.

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Can you believe at one point I was with someone who wanted me to get pregnant before marrying me, and at another point with someone who just wanted us to have children together but not get married?

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Yup, so done

Can you also believe my husband proposed to me without trying to get me pregnant or making me an unofficial wife first? There are men and there are MEN and you deserve the very best sis. I got my fairytale love story and so can you, with God all things are possible.

Ladies, you deserve a godly man who treats you with utmost respect and gives you the exact kind of love you deserve and more!

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Love always,

Mrs. A

If you’re currently going through challenging times and you’d like a listening ear, some encouragement or motivation, please contact me here: talktomrsa@gmail.com

 

Posted in Inspirational, Straight Outta My Heart

The Unofficial Wife

Hello beautiful people!

Today, I watched a Facebook video by one Mrs. Winnie Osagie, who was talking about girlfriends playing the wifey role and boy did she preach!! I really wish I could upload the video here but unfortunately I couldn’t save it; however you can check it out on her Facebook page: Win Women Fellowship. This is a message that has been on my heart for a long time, always is actually because it is one of the things God saved me from before I met my amazing husband, and also something I desire so strongly for all girlfriends/wives-to-be to know. I noticed some guys in the comments section didn’t like her message because obviously it went against them but this truth has to be told! I am so passionate about this and I pray at least 1 sister will get this.

So first things first: ladies, if a man has not married you, please stay in your parents’ house till he comes for you the right way. Oh I can stay here all day. Moving in with the boyfriend and playing wife has become so normalized that we’ve forgotten the way it’s really supposed to be. Now you know I’m not one to judge, I couldn’t even if I wanted to because I was the chief culprit of this. Auntie madam, top girlfriend-wifey, you couldn’t tell me nothing. I would cook, clean, wash clothes, play nice with the family and give my body willingly, all in the name of being a girlfriend.

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Oh Dzifa!!!

I was the unofficial wife, the girlfriend giving him wife privileges and so he had no reason to make it official. Why pay for something you can have for free? Even with apps on our phones that give free trials, we mostly cancel the subscription when the free trial ends and we have to pay for it because we’d rather have it for free. I have been there and done all these things so believe me when I say this is not the life for you, dear sis. Of course in that moment, you won’t see anything wrong with it. I know I didn’t. My mom, bless her, spoke to me out of love and concern for me, to come back home because I was practically living with this guy I was seeing but did I listen to her? The consequences of my disobedience are stories for another blog post. When you stay in that situation long enough, you actually begin to believe and accept it as normal and trust me, it is not! Can you believe at a point in my life I didn’t even want to have an official marriage ceremony? I thought it was unimportant. Yeah that’s how far gone I was but look at the beautiful marriage ceremonies God blessed me with.

As I’ve said before, a godly man knows his wife when he sees her; he will pursue, court and marry her, he doesn’t have time to string her along indefinitely talking about ‘let’s wait and see’, nope! It doesn’t take 5-10 years for him to realize he has found a wife and that realization has absolutely nothing to do with how good she can cook or clean or is in bed. Mrs. Winnie Osagie actually made mention of the fact that ladies who are getting married these days don’t even do those things and I know people will beg to differ but I agree with her totally because I am one of those ladies. I didn’t play wife to get wifed and I didn’t have to do anything extra to make my man know that he had to marry me (remember what I said about godly men?). After being the unofficial wife for many years, I decided I wasn’t going to go down that route anymore and I told myself I wasn’t going to play wife in my next relationship. I didn’t even know I was speaking life into my future (always proclaim the things you want to happen).

Dear sis, beautiful daughter of the King, do you know how valuable you are to God? He loves you so much and also wants you feel that unconditional love through the husband he has set apart for you. It hurts me to see my sisters stuck in the same rut I was in and that’s why I want to reach out and help them get through any such situationships because I know how hard it can be to leave. I want you to know that if you can trust God completely, He will blow your mind in this area. He knows exactly what you need and He will do what exceeds your imagination. I’ve always known in my heart the kind of relationship/marriage I wanted but because I couldn’t fully trust God to give me that, I went ahead and did my own thing, forgetting that God knows the desires of my heart, even the secret ones and what loving father wouldn’t give His daughter the best?

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God loves you too much for you to be a mistress, side chick/booty call! I’ll share my booty call/friend-with-benefit story soon…

And we know that to them that love God all things work together for good, even to them that are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28, ASV) and that’s why I openly share my struggles and past because look at the good that has come out of it; He brought me out for a purpose, for a time like this so that I can proclaim His love and faithfulness to the world and help other people come out of where I’ve been.

Always rest in the knowledge that God loves you so much and it is never too late to come back home like I did.

Love always,

Mrs. A

If you’re currently going through challenging times and you’d like a listening ear, some encouragement or motivation, please contact me here: talktomrsa@gmail.com