Posted in Inside My Head

Freedom

Hello beautiful people & Happy Easter to us all!

So I recently celebrated my birthday (S/O to all March borns, we’re so special!) and before my month ends, I’d like to share with you all one of the best things I’ve done for myself so far. If you haven’t done it yet, you you definitely need to do this.

Finally, I have been able to set myself free from the opinions of others. Though I sometimes feel like it has taken me too long to get to this point, I’m really grateful that I’ve been able to do this at this time of my life before I get any further because I would certainly need it for the journey ahead.

Before I go in, let me tell you a little about myself. I am such a lovely person. Not to toot my own horn but I’m really sweet and very thoughtful too. So thoughtful that when someone says something mean to me, instead of replying in an equally mean manner or worse, I’d rather be thinking of how they would feel if I said such a thing. In any given situation, I tend to think more of the next person’ feelings than mine. I would always wonder why a person would say something to me that I would never think of saying to them but you know what, life is unfair. We don’t always get treated the way we treat others but that’s okay because it says a lot about the kind of people we are and the kind of people they are.

Sometimes I’d tell HusBae what someone said to me and he’d ask what my response was (cos he’s got such a smart mouth, lol don’t come for me babe) but I’d say, “Oh I just smiled and shook my head.” then he’d say “What?! You let these people get away with too much!”

And he was right. I had allowed this for far too long because obviously, what you allow is what would continue. HusBae has always encouraged me to speak up more but being a reserved person by nature, I had to get to that point on my own. And oh, that’s where I’m at right now.

Another reason why I restrained myself so much from retaliating was because I thought I would hurt their feelings as I’m very observant and I know where to hit that would hurt the most, but do these people think about if my feelings would be hurt by their words? Nope.

Now this doesn’t mean I’m going to become like them, going around and poking my nose where it doesn’t belong because I love staying in my lane and minding my own business, howeverrr, people like to come for me because I seem to be an “easy target” as I mostly don’t talk back, but let someone try me now.

CEB44C63-47A7-45D1-96CA-488A8079FE68

Always remember:

1. Don’t let anyone take you for granted.

2. Don’t let anyone treat you any less than you deserve.

3. Don’t ever let anyone try to dim your light because they feel you’re shining too bright. Shine to your fullest capacity.

And finally, 4. Don’t keep things inside when you know you’re only going to get bothered by them. Speak up and speak out! Say what you like and don’t like. It would bring you peace of mind.

The quickest way to go down is to entrap yourself in the “What would they think/say box”.

Set yourself free. You deserve it.

6DBDB84D-214A-4AEB-BD46-805B671A1223
Photo credit: www.notbeinggoverned.com

Love always,

Mrs A.

If you’re currently going through challenging times and you’d like a listening ear, some encouragement or motivation, please contact me here: talktomrsa@gmail.com

Advertisements
Posted in Inspirational, Straight Outta My Heart

Going through a hard time?

Never would have made it…
Never could have made it without you…

Hello beautiful people!
I woke up yesterday with this song on my heart. Last month was such an emotional roller coaster for me. With stress from work and life in general, news of deaths, experiencing disappointments and having so many uncertainties but still having to keep it together, my emotions were really all over the place.

I would have lost my mind, I would have gave up but you were right there…
Have you ever gone through anything that made you feel as if you were going to lose your mind?
I felt that way several times last month. There was so much unrest in my mind. My sanity was at stake and so many times I would say, “I don’t know how I’m still doing this.”

Now here comes my favourite line of the song and I listen to this song a lot, but yesterday this part really stood out to me:
I would have lost it all but now I see how you were there for me…
This part really touched me!
Can we be honest here for a minute believers? How many of us feel like we’re all by ourselves when we’re going through a really rough time? I’m talking about a very tight situation which looks really hopeless. How many of us feel like God is silent through our tests? I know I do.
I can praise, I can worship, I can pray and even though I know I haven’t been forsaken, I still feel like I’m doing it alone.
But oh, once I get through that storm, that’s when I have the “now I see” moment.

Ha! I feel like doing a little dance here.

IMG_2476
Now I see how you were there for me: That was how I was still doing it! When I wondered how I was still sane, how I could still smile, how I could still get work done, it was simply because He was there for me the whole time.
This brings tears to my eyes because if I was running on my own strength, I would have messed up big time. I would have lost it all. I would have been telling a different story today.
I guess sometimes we expect fireworks and big bangs to know He is with us but I’ve learned that in the midst of all the chaos, confusion and what appears to be silence on His part, He is right there with us.
When I look back over what He brought me through, I realise I made it because I had you to hold on to…
Honestly, when I look back at the situation I’ve just gone through, I can say for a fact that I didn’t do that on my own. There were many times when I felt so weak, when I felt like I couldn’t get through another day but the day would come and I’ll make it through. How? Because I had Him to hold on to.
I’m sharing this today because I know there’s someone somewhere going through a similar situation. I know there’s someone who has been waiting for something for so long that it’s beginning to look impossible. I know that you’re probably at your breaking point and you don’t want to hear another “just stay strong” sermon so I just want to assure you that:
1.You’re not alone. No matter how your situation looks or how you feel, you are not alone. You have me, someone who has been there and totally understands but more importantly, you have God who will never leave nor forsake you. If you can’t talk to anyone, talk or write to Him. (I express myself better in writing so when my words fail me, I write to God)
2.This too shall pass. No matter how long it seems to be taking, even though it looks like for you alone there’s no light at the end of the tunnel, the truth is that there is. Even though it looks like it has been stormy forever, the sun will come out. There has never been a day without the night, neither has it ever been nighttime for 24 hours. It will pass for you to look back thank God that you made it. I pray that when it passes, you too will encourage someone going through the same thing.

Love always,

Mrs A.

If you’re currently going through challenging times and you’d like a listening ear, some encouragement or motivation, please contact me here: talktomrsa@gmail.com

Posted in Inside My Head

My 2017

Hello beautiful people!

IMG_4527

Boy, this year has been the roughest, most challenging and most trying of all my years on this earth. I don’t even know how I’m still here in one piece because I have been broken into so many different pieces.

I have been stretched in ways which made me wonder just how much more I could take and more often than not, I thought of giving up completely.

So many disappointments, setbacks, crushed hopes and dreams, you would think I had been set up for failure.

So many repetitive prayers that I began to sound like a broken record.

So many unanswered prayers that I often wondered where God was and if He could hear me.

At a point, this was me.

IMG_3937
through the pain, this photo cracked me up every time i saw it

Regardless of all that I’ve been through, I have grown so much this year and when I think of the path I was on from the beginning of the year, I realize I wouldn’t have I have grown this much if I hadn’t experienced some of these things. I probably would have been in my little corner thinking life is mostly peaches and cream.

IMG_4581

On the bright side, I have unlearned and learned so much this year and for that I am truly grateful. Sometimes we need to step out of the little boxes and labels we’ve put ourselves in and tagged ourselves with, and explore life outside of that.

My greatest relief this year is finally being set free from the bondage of ‘what would they think/say?’ I used to be so concerned about what others would think or say about my actions/decisions and as much as I had tried to let that go, it would still linger at the back of my mind but you know what, I can’t live for anyone else but myself. Do people think about what I would say before they live? Nope! So why should I? Yeah I do live in a society that is extremely nosy and overly involved in other people’s affairs but it is oh so satisfying for me now to sing ‘well I don’t really care what people say, I don’t really watch what dem waan do’ and actually mean it. The constant worry of other people’s opinions is like dead weight that holds you back from reaching your full potential and since I let that go, I’ve felt like a bird.

Most importantly, I have learned how to speak up for myself! I can’t describe how much of a big deal this is for me you guys. I’m an introvert and by nature, I mostly don’t want to talk. I have always considered myself a better writer than speaker and because I’d rather be quiet about certain situations, some people would take advantage of that to walk all over me but not anymore. I’ve learned how to put my mouth to good use (not in the way you’re thinking :p) and I’m taking my own advice to say what I feel.

If you’ve also had a rough year, I just want you to know that you’re not alone. We don’t have to keep up appearances and pretend we’re okay when we’re really not.

I still remember January 2017 like it was just yesterday and I’m really glad that the long, exhausting year has come to an end so quick. As broken as I’ve been and with all the crushed hopes and dreams, I can’t help but hope and pray that 2018 is going to be so much better for us all.

To my cherished readers and followers, thank you all for coming on this journey with me this year. Thanks for all your likes, comments and follows. I truly appreciate it and you all.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Love always,

Mrs A.

If you’re currently going through challenging times and you’d like a listening ear, some encouragement or motivation, please contact me here: talktomrsa@gmail.com

Posted in Inside My Head, Random

Contentment

Hello beautiful people!

On my way to work one of the days this week, I came across a couple of children who were bathing outside their home, their home being a kiosk very close to the railway.

 

I watched them silently, lost in thought of how they live their lives daily on that side.

Are they comfortable?

Do they have a good bed and pillows to lay on?

Do they have clean water?

Do they always have good food to eat?

Are they happy or just content with their current state?

I saw these children on Monday or Tuesday but I’ve been thinking about them all week and thinking about my own life too.

Are we content with what we have?

You know how they say “There’s always someone that has it worse than you?” Yeah case in point. We moan and complain so much about what we don’t have when there are people who are praying to have a quarter of the things we currently have. It’s like the more we have, the more we want. There is always the next thing we need to get to make us ‘happy’ as though our happiness is tied to the things we get. It seems having a nice home, clean water, a loving family, good food and neat clothes, which are the basic essentials of life aren’t enough anymore.

Let’s look at this cycle; when you’re unemployed, you’re praying and looking for a job. Once you find a job, at some point you’d realize all the things that are wrong with it, then you start looking for the next job, then the next. When you don’t have a car, you’re praying to get one. When you do get one, you’re start looking for a bigger car or a different model. When you’re single, you get to a point when you start wanting to be in a relationship, then you want to get married. When you get married, you want kids. When you have a kid, you want another one. Then there are those who are married who want to be single.

Does it ever end?

I mean it’s not bad to want nice things for yourself, who doesn’t? But when does it end?

I’ll be honest with you, I love the glitz and glam that comes with the high end lifestyle but I also do love the simplicity of countryside and small town living.

IMG_3995
It be like that sometimes

Having tasted both sides of the picture, I realized we humans are somewhat insatiable. You can have it all but still want more. I’m just wondering, when do we say it’s enough?

I’m going to learn to be more content with my portion and still strive to attain greater heights. I’ll learn to count my blessings more and stop looking out for the next thing I can get for myself. I’ll try to give more than I get, and I’ll be more appreciative of where I am now instead of moaning about where I’m not yet.

C7E5E9B0-DB34-4D7D-9A25-1C808B988CB1

What about you? Are you content with what you have or do you keep wishing you had more? Share your thoughts with me.

Love always,

Mrs. A

If you’re currently going through challenging times and you’d like a listening ear, some encouragement or motivation, please contact me here: talktomrsa@gmail.com

 

 

Posted in Real Talk, Talk Back Tuesdays

Leave the Side Chics Alone!

Yup, you heard me and no I’m not a side chic. I’ve never been one before.

Hello beautiful people!

Question of the day: If your spouse cheats on you, who do you blame? Do you blame yourself, your spouse or the person they cheated with?

I have noticed a rather disturbing trend where some wives move heaven and hell to confront, beat up and even in some cases, hurt the side chic (because their husbands were innocent men who were hunted down by the side chics 🙄).

Let’s discuss this real quick.

So my husband came to see my family, asked for my hand in marriage and we proceeded to plan our marriage ceremony. In front of our families and friends, we got married and promised to stay together till one of us dies. Now I don’t see how, if for some absurd reason my husband decides to cheat, I will leave him be and go confront the lady he cheated with.

how sway
How?!

I have been trying really hard to understand the rationale behind women attacking side chics (physically and/or verbally) and I just don’t get it. I have heard so many different explanations and none of them makes sense to me.

If there’s a reason why you think women should do this or if you’ve done this before, kindly share with us in the comments section.

The most surprising reason that I’ve heard so far is that women have to speak to the side chic to make them understand that they need to respect their fellow sister’s union and stay clear off their man.

IMG_2790
Wut?

When did all of us women become such a close knit, loving sisterhood? Let’s be honest. I’m all for unity among women and women supporting one another but unfortunately no matter how hard we’re all trying, we are not really there yet.

I did an opinion poll and 98% of the people I spoke to responded that they would hold their partners responsible for stepping out on them, not the side piece.

The remaining 2% said if their spouse cheated, they would first examine themselves and try to find out if there was something they were doing wrong or not doing right. I was actually impressed because that line of thought is quite different from the norm.

What do you think about this? Kindly share your thoughts in the comments.

Dear wives, you are in the marriage with your husband, not any side chic. Your husband is accountable to you just as you are to him. It seems a lot of wives forget to hold their husbands responsible for their actions and tend to blame others instead. Instead of rushing off to engage the side chic, please speak with your husband first. Let him explain himself, let him explain to you why he broke his vows. It is not okay for your husband to cheat on you and it is certainly not okay for you to be fighting off side chics.

Side chics owe you no allegiance, your husband does. They do not have to consider your feelings or be concerned that they’re breaking up your beautiful family, your husband has to.

What do you think guys? Do leave a comment and let’s have a discussion. I would love to read your thoughts and views on this topic!

Love always,

Mrs A.

If you’re currently going through challenging times and you’d like a listening ear, some encouragement or motivation, please contact me here: talktomrsa@gmail.com

***Talk Back Tuesdays is a new interactive segment where we get to talk and share ideas on the topic of discussion, so be on the lookout every Tuesday. Videos will be included soon on my social media pages so check out the links down below the page, follow and subscribe! ***

SIDE NOTE: If there are any topics you guys would like us to discuss, kindly let me know in the comments or you can send them to my email: taltktomrsa@gmail.com. I’ll be looking forward to hearing from you all!

Posted in Inside My Head, Real Talk

Protect your energy

Hello beautiful people!
As the month brings itself to an end, I’ve spent a lot of time doing some reflections. I like to do this monthly, to kind of assess myself to see if I’m on the right track and also to refocus if I realize I’m slipping up somewhere. I have been able to outline the things I should be doing (and doing more of), what I should be focusing my energy on and what I should not be engaging in.
I believe every individual is on a mission on this earth however there are some people who are unnecessary distractions from the purpose for which we are here. Sometimes, it is the seemingly nice and unsuspecting people who are the culprits. They may or may not know that they are distracting you from your purpose but it is up to you to distinguish between who is right for you and who is not. You may be a lover of people like me but unfortunately, not everyone can go with us on this journey we are on.

IMG_3194
Last month, I met with a few of my sister friends over pizza (our fav) and at a point, we started talking about our goals, visions and dreams. We are all currently engaged in very different things but even with the diversity, I find our ability to support, motivate and encourage one another so, so beautiful. In that moment, I was really excited for our future, I felt so much at peace and I knew that I indeed have the best of friends. We may not always meet up or talk as we all have such busy lives now but whenever we do, we just pick it up from where we left off.
You have to be able to critically examine yourself and the people in your life; check who is adding value and worth to your life, and who is not. Check who is cheering you on and who is draining your energy.

pastedImageCan I talk about human leeches for a minute?
Have you ever come across someone who seems to take so much from you but doesn’t give you that much in return?
Take, take, take it all, but you never give’Bruno Mars, Grenade.
This person could be taking your time, money, joy, peace or even your energy. You know, the kind of people who leave you drained after speaking to them and no, I’m not referring to people who come and confide in you concerning a particular challenge. I’m talking about those who always seem to have numerous problems that they like to dump on you regardless of how you may be feeling at the given time. They are always feeling blue and the clouds are always dark in their lives. (I’m sure you’re thinking of someone now)
Please understand that as much as You are not for everybody, not everyone is for you. The more you adopt your true self, the more likeminded people you’ll draw toward you and in the same way, the people who don’t fit will be expelled from your life. Always remember that not everyone can go on this wonderful, crazy life journey that you’re on so don’t hold on to dead weight.

Protect your energy and be sure to do what’s best for you, even if no one understands that.

pastedImage

Love always,

Mrs. A!

If you’re currently going through challenging times and you’d like a listening ear, some encouragement or motivation, please contact me here: talktomrsa@gmail.com

Posted in Random, This & That

Day 23: Favorite things

Hello beautiful people!

I’m going to do a 21 questions type of thing today since the topic is so broad. Let’s jump right into it, shall we?

IMG_4302

  1. Favorite fruit: Pineapple 🍍 I can eat that every day!
  2. Favorite color: Black/Blue, can’t pick one 🤷🏽‍♀️
  3. Favorite TV Show/Series: Grey’s Anatomy (omgggg!! Thinking about it now is making me emo 🙈 I love, love, love that show)
  4. Favorite hobby: Definitely reading. I should start putting up a ‘Do not disturb’ sign when I’m reading cos I don’t like interruptions at all.
  5. Favorite place to relax: The beach 🌊
  6. Favorite pet: Dog lover here 🙋🏽
  7. Favorite time of the day: Dawn, around 4am to be precise. I love how quiet and peaceful it is.
  8. Favorite kind of entertainment: Dancing 💃🏽
  9. Favorite comfort food: Chocolate chip cookies/Chocolate digestives/Chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream. Somehow, chocolate makes everything better.
  10. Favorite way to be woken up: Nothing beats waking up to HusBae laying some pipe. Alright, goodnight 👋🏽💤

I hope you enjoyed it! I didn’t want to make this list too long that’s why I stopped at 10 but if you guys have any more questions for me, do let me know and I’d do a part 2. Connect with me here: talktomrsa@gmail.com

Love always,

Mrs. A

Posted in Inside My Head, Inspirational, Real Talk

Day 20: Life of a wife

Hello beautiful people!

So I don’t think anyone is ever fully prepared to be a wife. You may go through pre-marital counseling, hear all the model stories to motivate you and read countless books but there’s nothing like actually living the married life and putting whatever you’ve read or heard into practice.

More often than not, we hear and see a never ending list of things wives are supposed to do to ‘keep’ their husbands but I love the saying that goes like “you can’t keep someone who doesn’t want to be kept“. I know many women who feel overwhelmed by this seemingly impossible list of ways to please the hubby without seeing an equivalent of it for the men but another story for another day.

Before we got married, my hubs and I had reached an understanding that marriage is not 50/50 like some people say, it is 100/100: both parties giving their all, so each person has to focus on putting in enough effort to give their partner 100%.

As a wife, Mr A is my topmost priority. I have the task of making sure that he is okay in every aspect of his life and where he’s not, I have to support, encourage and root for him so that he gets there. I can’t be okay when he’s not.

Besides everything, the most valuable thing I can ever offer him is my prayers.

IMG_4279.JPG
One of the best wedding gifts I received 

This is an amazing book that helped me in the first few months of marriage when I was still trying to find my feet. It gives you such realistic and meaningful prayers to say over every area of your husband’s life. It is centered on how he can be the best version of himself as a husband, father and an individual so don’t let the title put you off from grabbing a copy! It is actually meant to make him a better hubby to you😉 (Who doesn’t want this?!)

Prayer is such a priceless yet affordable gift you can give to your husband at all times. Please do it frequently. Everyday is an opportunity to learn how to be a better wife to him and a better individual generally.

Most important thing I’ve learned as a wife?

Our marriage is between us two only, no one else has a say and even if they do, their opinions shouldn’t be binding on us.   

My life as his wife is a wonderful yet challenging experience and my heart is at peace knowing that he’s the one I agreed to be with for life!

Share with me some of your experiences and lessons you’ve learnt as a wife. I would love to hear them.

Always here if you need to talk: talktomrsa@gmail.com

Love always,

Mrs. A

Posted in Inside My Head, Straight Outta My Heart

Day 19: Family

Hello beautiful people!

Featuring in today’s post is my own little family  ❤️

IMG_4277.PNG
From L-R: lil man in the corner, oldest brother Oris, HusBae, yours truly, my mom and second older brother Emmanuel 

I love this photo because it captures my two families; the one I’ve always had and the new one I had just joined so beautifully.

I have quite a small family but boy was I glad to have a new family made up of just 2 people 🤣 sorry mom. In all honesty, more often than not, family can be somewhat overbearing for a very reserved person like me. I mostly want to be by myself and speak to no one but there’s no such thing when you’re with family. (I’m currently typing this at my mom’s place with everyone here. Just imagine how that’s going).

However, I am thoroughly enjoying myself and having a good laugh as lil man is putting on a show. HusBae also fits right in and could pass for my mom’s son because the two of them are so alike in many ways and when I see them talking, I actually feel like the odd one out lol🙄

Yeah they can be overbearing but they also love the hardest and protect me the most. (Well I shouldn’t expect anything less as I’m the last baby 😇). If I ever doubted their love for me, the last couple of years have proved to me that when everyone leaves, family stays and when everything goes south, family will stick up for you.

Cherish and appreciate your family whilst they’re still around. There’s no point in writing long eulogies when they’re dead and can’t hear them, show them love now that they’re here.

S/O to my extended family as well. Y’all are awesome too! My favorite memory of my family is when the photographer called for the ‘couple with the bride’s family’ shot at our wedding and my entire extended family came up to the altar to stand with us. We almost didn’t fit in the photo because they were so many but that moment was so beautiful and heartwarming for me & it’s etched in my heart forever.

Dear family, I love you all more than you’d ever know.

Love always,

Mrs. A

If you ever need to talk, feel free to drop a mail: talktomrsa@gmail.com

Posted in Inspirational, Real Talk, Romance

Day 17: Couple Goals

Hello beautiful people!

This term ‘couple goals’ has been the in thing for some time now. It seems every couple that goes viral on the internet is ‘goals’ and this leads to severe disappointment when said couple breaks up (been there 😒).

After a certain popular YouTube couple had a very messy breakup, I was jolted back to reality; these people are regular human beings just like you and I. They are not super-humans and what we see on the internet is just a fraction of their lives that they choose to show us. Nobody’s relationship is as perfect as it looks on camera.

I think everyone should strive to be ‘couple goals’. Sometimes, we focus so much on other people’s lives that we tend to overlook ours. In paying so much attention to another person’s relationship/marriage, we lose sight of how unique and special ours is and start wishing to be in the other couples’ shoes. (Please don’t be that person)

Your relationship/marriage is really what you make it, no one is going to make it fun and exciting for you. Yeah it’s cool to admire other couples but don’t be so hung up on them. If there’s something they’re doing that’s you like, try to adopt and modify it to suit your relationship/marriage. Please don’t go blaming your partner for not being as ‘cool’ as the YouTube couple you’ve been watching, introduce whatever new idea you’ve got to your partner with love.

Always remember that your marriage/relationship can be whatever you want it to be. It’s up to you really, and you too can be ‘goals’.

Always here if you need to talk: talktomrsa@gmail.com

Love always,

Mrs. A