Posted in Random, This & That

Day 7: Self Care

Hello beautiful people!

When I saw today’s challenge, I immediately thought fitness, being the fitness lover that I am (or used to be, judging from my current size 🤣) but I also thought of a more essential part of self care that we seem to overlook, especially in this country: emotional self care.

What is self care?

It is a very active and powerful choice to engage in the activities that are required to gain or maintain an optimal level of overall health. And in this case, overall health includes not just the physical (so yeah, not just fitness), but the psychological, emotional, social, and spiritual components of an individual’s well-being.

I’m choosing to delve into emotional self care because around these parts, it looks like it’s unheard of to be ‘Not Okay’.

A typical conversation goes like:

Person A: “How are you doing?”

Person B (regardless of how they’re really feeling & without a second thought): “I’m good, you?”

Person A (also regardless of how they’re really feeling): “I’m good too” OR “I’m great” OR the most popular, “I’m okay”.

I know so many people who are hurting deeply, distressed and almost distraught but carry on with their daily lives with the “I’m okay” cover because we are not supposed to be ‘Not Okay’.

We are supposed to be strong and face everything that comes our way, no matter how painful and overwhelming, because we are super-humans 🙄😏

We are supposed to be tough and put a brave face on even when we are breaking down and falling apart on the inside.

You would rarely find a Ghanaian openly talking about the challenges they’re facing. Such things are only whispered in our pastor’s offices, maybe for fear of the issues being broadcasted to everyone else or mostly because we try to brave it, thinking that ‘this too shall pass’ and that things would get better so we can share our ‘testimony’.

Now I’m not saying that when we have issues we should shout it on the rooftop, I’m saying it is OKAY to be NOT OKAY.

Pretending to be okay can only go on for so long till you have an emotional breakdown (I would know).

Please, if you’re struggling with something you know you can’t handle on your own, if there’s something overwhelming bothering you, if you’re going through an emotional turmoil, find someone you trust or even a neutral person and speak to them. Let it out, don’t keep it in.

Try journaling your feelings (I do this a lot) or writing what’s wrong on a piece of paper and throwing it away.

If you need support in prayers, ask a close friend or a family member.

If you need to borrow some money, ask someone that you can repay. (& please pay them back😐)

If you’re unhappy about something, let it be known.

And if you’re just not okay, that’s fine. Have someone close to you hold your hand and rub your back. Bear hugs work for me.

Dear someone, you don’t have to do it all alone. You don’t have to bear all that pain and burden by yourself.

Let’s also make more efforts to really find out if our friends are okay.

Let’s be there for them when they need us and keep our mouths (+ judgmental minds) shut when they tell us what’s bothering them.

There are far too many people hurting but keeping it inside due to the fear of being judged and becoming the next hot topic in WhatsApp groups.

Just as you take care of the other parts of yourself, take care of your emotional side too. Don’t pretend it doesn’t exist.

Seek professional help if you need to.

And if you’re like me, stop keeping things in!

It’s OKAY to be NOT OKAY.

I’m always here if you need to talk: talktomrsa@gmail.com

Love always,

Mrs. A

Set yourself free.

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Posted in Spiritual, Talk Back Tuesdays

Does God give us more than we can handle?

Hello beautiful people!

I was reading someone’s blog yesterday and a concern was raised about people who say “God will not give you more than you can handle” dismissively to people going through hard times. The person was concerned that even though this statement is supposed to be encouraging, it mostly comes across as rather insensitive or dismissive, kind of like telling whoever is going through the hard time to just suck it up because after all, God has given them exactly what they can handle. That just raised so many questions in my mind and I’d be grateful if anyone could help me answer them.

Before I get into my questions, let me share the Bible verse that seems to talk about this.

1 Corinthians 10:13

No temptation [regardless of its source] has overtaken or enticed you that is not common to human experience [nor is any temptation unusual or beyond human resistance]; but God is faithful [to His word-He is compassionate and trustworthy], and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability [to resist], but along with the temptation He [has in the past and is now and] will [always] provide the way out as well, so that you will be able to endure it [without yielding, and will overcome temptation with joy]. (AMP)

The only temptation that you have are the same temptations that all people have. But you can trust God. He will not let you be tempted more than you can bear. But when you are tempted, God will also give you a way to escape that temptation. Then you will be able to endure it. (ERV)

No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it. (MSG)

So these 3 versions have a common message which has been popularly interpreted as ‘God will not give you more than you can handle.’ I love how the second part of this verse talks about God always giving us a way out of our temptations. It is quite reassuring to know that He’s always with us and he’ll always be there to help us come through it as the MSG version puts it.

That brings me to my first set of questions. If the verse is talking about temptations/being tempted as it is clearly stated, why is it often applied to people facing challenges/going through a hard time to make it look like it is God who is taking them through that? Is Paul talking about temptations/tests OR going through hard times in life/facing challenges OR both? We know everyone has their own way of processing and dealing with issues so how exactly do we determine what more than we can handle is, as everyone’s limits/breaking point varies? When you say that to a person, do you know for sure that they can actually handle whatever they are going through or do you just say it because it’s something that seems okay to say at such a time?

“God never gives you more than you can handle” : A nice sentiment which we believe is encouraging and comforting but doesn’t really match with real life because we experience many struggles, illnesses, devastation and painful situations that are much more than we can handle, that even bring us to our breaking point.

Also: Do trials/temptations come from God? Does He allow us to be tempted? The way it says ‘He will not let you be tempted more than’ makes it look as though He will let you be tempted, but not more than you can bear. Well James 1:13 tells us not to say God is tempting us because He doesn’t tempt anyone. The following verse (v14) goes on to say that it is the evil things we want that tempt us, so that certainly rules out the thought that temptations come from God. That leaves us with trials (challenges/hard times), which we all experience at some point in our lives. Are they also from God? Does God deliberately take us through trials that feel unbearable?

Personally, I don’t think God gives us anything that we have to ‘handle’, in that sense. God does not give us trials, neither does He take us through hard times nor make us face challenges. The difficulties in life are not temptations, neither are they from God. We, by our own actions create problems and situations for ourselves and we end up blaming the devil or God. How can a father of light, so full of love from whom every good and perfect gift comes deliberately put us through hard times? Is He trying to punish us or teach us a lesson? That would actually negate who He is. The last part of James 1:17 (MSG) says: ‘There is nothing deceitful in God, nothing two-faced, nothing fickle.’ How then can He give us the good stuff and also bad stuff?

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What do you think? Do leave a comment and let’s have a discussion. I would love to read your thoughts and views on this topic!

Love always,

Mrs A.

If you’re currently going through challenging times and you’d like a listening ear, some encouragement or motivation, please contact me here: talktomrsa@gmail.com

 

 

***Talk Back Tuesdays is a new interactive segment where we get to talk and share ideas on the topic of discussion, so be on the lookout every Tuesday. Videos will be included soon on my social media pages so check out the links down below the page, follow and subscribe! ***

 

Posted in Straight Outta My Heart, This & That

Love Overflow

Hello beautiful people!

This is just a quick one before we all run off into the sunset to enjoy the weekend.

As I grow older and with each passing day, it is becoming so important for me to be more selfless and less self-centered; more loving, caring and supportive.

The more I see people operate in wickedness, the more I want to show love.

I have got this big beating heart overflowing with love and I just want to share it with everybody. I realize daily how totally irrelevant it is to hold things against people, to tell petty lies and to incite hatred in people’s hearts for others when our lives are so short; here today, dead tomorrow.

I remember back in primary school, if our friend wasn’t speaking to someone, automatically we (group of friends) all wouldn’t speak to that person too. It sounds so absurd to me right now because I see no sense in that but back then, I did it too!

My heart bleeds when I see so much hatred, unforgiveness and plain wickedness among believers, not to talk of the rest of the world. I always wonder to myself what the relevance of all this is really. We have just one life and this is how we want to live it? Full of anger, strife, bitterness, greed and envy?

One of the things that always prevented me from holding things against people was the thought of them dying, with me still holding that grudge. Now I know some people wouldn’t care at all if their enemies lived or died, but I don’t have that kind of heart. I would never be able to stand it, knowing someone I had an issue with died before we could reconcile and that’s why I don’t wait for people to apologize to me before I forgive them. I will forgive and love you even if you won’t love me back; I don’t lose anything.

You know how they say you can’t give what you don’t have? Well my love tank is overflowing and I have lots of love to give! (I’m feeling Philippians 1:9 right now)

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Well I know not everyone has a heart like mine or was built like me, but I choose to see the good in people rather than the bad and I believe everyone is capable of loving and being loved because we are all children of the Father of love.

This weekend, show someone new some love, and if you’ve neglected the people around you for a while, get involved in their lives! Bless someone with your time and attention, it doesn’t always have to be cash. That kind word or compliment you give can change someone’s whole demeanor.

Smile! It makes you look warm and approachable. Make new friends and be friendly, no man is an island.

When I’m gone, I want to be remembered as the one who always loved and cared for all people. My fulfillment comes from knowing that I have been able to help someone, impact a life positively and cause a change with the free gifts God has given me.

I’ve done some digging around and I realize there are so many people who are suffering in silence (I used to be one of them); people who have serious problems but can’t talk to anyone for fear of being judged, criticized, misunderstood or made fun of. I have spoken with many of such people over the phone and via text/instant messages but I have come to understand that is not enough. There are people who need more than just a one-off chat, who need emotional support for some time and when they don’t find it anywhere, they keep suffering in silence and begin to feel stuck in the situations they’re struggling with.

In light of this, I am looking to plan a meet-up for a very few group of women, say 5 ladies who are dating and looking to get married but know they have hard issues in their current relationships which they can’t look past. This is something I have experienced myself so I know how hard it can be, that is why I want to offer my help, freely and willingly. If someone did it for me, I can do it for others too. It will be a judgement-free zone and a safe place for us all to talk freely, pray, study, share ideas and find solutions to these problems. It is also an opportunity for us to have godly sisters we can trust and count on. I believe this is the start of something great and God will definitely see us through. I have experienced some pretty rough things in this area of concern and I know for a fact that with God’s help, everyone going through something similar will also come out victoriously like I did. To be very honest after everything I had been through, I had no idea where my husband was going to come from or if I’d even ever get married and have my own family, but look at God.

Again, this will be totally free. It is a voluntary service I would like to offer so if you’re interested or you know anyone who might be, kindly send a mail to talktomrsa@gmail.com to indicate your interest. I will proceed with further arrangements and contact everyone when everything is finalized. I’m looking to take on this small number for now because I want to be able to connect personally with everyone present and I want our sessions to be very intimate and cozy. I want everyone to feel free and involved, not overwhelmed with large numbers.  I’d be honored to meet with you.

Always remember how much God loves you. Enjoy your weekend!

Love always,

Mrs. A

If you’re currently going through challenging times and you’d like a listening ear, some encouragement or motivation, please contact me here: talktomrsa@gmail.com

Posted in Inside My Head, Inspirational, Real Talk

Throwback Thursday

Hello beautiful people!

I held off the post I was preparing for today to put this one across instead, due to a conversation I had with a dear sister earlier. I actually wanted to post this two days ago but I’m not going to lie, reading it again took me back to the very day I first wrote it; I could feel all the things I was feeling then, I saw the rawness and realness of it, I felt the confusion and just how disturbed I was, then I refrained from posting it.

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However, I know that what I’ve been through is definitely going to help someone and I don’t have to hold back any part of the story, so here goes:

                                                

                                                     5th May, 2013.

 I’m lost.

Its 5th May, 2013…I have less than 25 days to complete Uni and I’m totally lost.

I’m at sea.

I don’t have any idea what to do with my life after I’m done here.

I don’t know where to start from.

I’m totally blank and fully relying on someone else to provide all the answers to my life.

Which is so wrong (?) and I wish very much that it was not so

I feel like an unguided toddler in the mall, who does not know which way to go or which turn to take.

I feel like I could blame some people for this loss of sense of direction, but then I also think of what I can do for myself.

I’m supposed to have figured out a lot of stuff about my life after school by now but here I am; blank and clueless as to what I really want.

Today I was asked: “Where do you want to work?” and I replied “I don’t know.”

Not because I’m not serious in life, or I have no aim/ambition, actually what I want for myself is a bit overly ambitious, but because at this point in my life, I truly do not know.

I guess to some, I sound weak, not serious and aimless, but I wonder if anyone has ever experienced what I’m going through.

I don’t have much time, I need to do some soul searching, as I was told today, to figure out what it is that I really want to pursue, what would bring me joy, satisfaction and most importantly, money.

What I love to do? Easy. First thing that comes to mind is writing.

But does writing give the kind of money I desire? In this precious country of ours?

It doesn’t look like it from where I’m looking.

What I really want to do seems almost impossible, unless I do it as a hobby or find someone/people who believe in me enough to pay me to do what I desire.

What if I’m not interested in the regular things?

Is there a way out for me?

I need to find a way out.

Oh my darling Dzifa! I’m actually a little teary right now. I just want to give my 22 year old self a bear hug and rub her back. Who told me I needed to have my life all figured out by then? At least I knew I wanted to write for a living but why was I so focused on money?! I can understand myself though, having a single parent, I sure didn’t want to burden her any further financially after all we had been through. Why did I think I didn’t have much time? Why did I feel so pressured to make a lot of money? I was so lost and confused, and the person I was having these conversations with wasn’t helping me much. I had so many wrong ideas put into my head at a time when I needed someone to hold my hand and guide me through this state. I remember the impatience, the frustration with which I would be asked if I still didn’t know where I wanted to work and I’m just thinking now, did it have to be about WHERE I worked or WHAT I actually did for a living. Was it about my passion, what I really wanted to do or was it just about a place to work?

I cannot emphasize enough the importance of surrounding yourself with the right people, especially in your trying moments. Any wrong advice could send you spiraling down a wrong path. At this point in my life, it looked like I had to do something, anything just for the money but thank God I was not desperate; I would probably have been telling a different story by now.

4 years later, I still don’t have it all figured out but the difference here is that I have someone who has got it all figured out for me. I have a Father whose plans and ways are perfect, so I’m just here trusting Him every step of the way, no matter how it looks. I’m a very orderly person, I’m big on planning every little detail of my life so letting go and trusting God completely was and still is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do but it has also brought me so much peace! No more anxiety or stress, no more worrying about my next 5 or 10 years, not even my tomorrow because God has got it covered. He’s in the driver’s seat of my life now. I used to battle with anxiety but letting go and letting God has truly set me free.

I’m sharing this today to encourage anyone who thinks or feels like they’re a failure because they are not where they want to be yet. Please let go of any preconceived notions that you need to have your life figured out by a certain age; there is no law or rule that states that. Take your time, get to know yourself, explore all your skills, talents, ideas and possible avenues and enjoy every bit of the process! Don’t let anyone belittle you like they did me or make you feel some type of way because you haven’t attained what they consider as success; have your own definition of success. Remember, life is not a race and even if it is, we are all on different paths racing to different destinations. Take it one day at a time and don’t be too hard on yourself through your struggles because the greatest testimonies are going to be birthed out of them.

God loves you so much and He’ll definitely see you through all your trials and struggles, just keep trusting Him!

Love always,

Mrs. A

If you’re currently going through challenging times and you’d like a listening ear, some encouragement or motivation, please contact me here: talktomrsa@gmail.com

Posted in Inspirational, Straight Outta My Heart

The Unofficial Wife

Hello beautiful people!

Today, I watched a Facebook video by one Mrs. Winnie Osagie, who was talking about girlfriends playing the wifey role and boy did she preach!! I really wish I could upload the video here but unfortunately I couldn’t save it; however you can check it out on her Facebook page: Win Women Fellowship. This is a message that has been on my heart for a long time, always is actually because it is one of the things God saved me from before I met my amazing husband, and also something I desire so strongly for all girlfriends/wives-to-be to know. I noticed some guys in the comments section didn’t like her message because obviously it went against them but this truth has to be told! I am so passionate about this and I pray at least 1 sister will get this.

So first things first: ladies, if a man has not married you, please stay in your parents’ house till he comes for you the right way. Oh I can stay here all day. Moving in with the boyfriend and playing wife has become so normalized that we’ve forgotten the way it’s really supposed to be. Now you know I’m not one to judge, I couldn’t even if I wanted to because I was the chief culprit of this. Auntie madam, top girlfriend-wifey, you couldn’t tell me nothing. I would cook, clean, wash clothes, play nice with the family and give my body willingly, all in the name of being a girlfriend.

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Oh Dzifa!!!

I was the unofficial wife, the girlfriend giving him wife privileges and so he had no reason to make it official. Why pay for something you can have for free? Even with apps on our phones that give free trials, we mostly cancel the subscription when the free trial ends and we have to pay for it because we’d rather have it for free. I have been there and done all these things so believe me when I say this is not the life for you, dear sis. Of course in that moment, you won’t see anything wrong with it. I know I didn’t. My mom, bless her, spoke to me out of love and concern for me, to come back home because I was practically living with this guy I was seeing but did I listen to her? The consequences of my disobedience are stories for another blog post. When you stay in that situation long enough, you actually begin to believe and accept it as normal and trust me, it is not! Can you believe at a point in my life I didn’t even want to have an official marriage ceremony? I thought it was unimportant. Yeah that’s how far gone I was but look at the beautiful marriage ceremonies God blessed me with.

As I’ve said before, a godly man knows his wife when he sees her; he will pursue, court and marry her, he doesn’t have time to string her along indefinitely talking about ‘let’s wait and see’, nope! It doesn’t take 5-10 years for him to realize he has found a wife and that realization has absolutely nothing to do with how good she can cook or clean or is in bed. Mrs. Winnie Osagie actually made mention of the fact that ladies who are getting married these days don’t even do those things and I know people will beg to differ but I agree with her totally because I am one of those ladies. I didn’t play wife to get wifed and I didn’t have to do anything extra to make my man know that he had to marry me (remember what I said about godly men?). After being the unofficial wife for many years, I decided I wasn’t going to go down that route anymore and I told myself I wasn’t going to play wife in my next relationship. I didn’t even know I was speaking life into my future (always proclaim the things you want to happen).

Dear sis, beautiful daughter of the King, do you know how valuable you are to God? He loves you so much and also wants you feel that unconditional love through the husband he has set apart for you. It hurts me to see my sisters stuck in the same rut I was in and that’s why I want to reach out and help them get through any such situationships because I know how hard it can be to leave. I want you to know that if you can trust God completely, He will blow your mind in this area. He knows exactly what you need and He will do what exceeds your imagination. I’ve always known in my heart the kind of relationship/marriage I wanted but because I couldn’t fully trust God to give me that, I went ahead and did my own thing, forgetting that God knows the desires of my heart, even the secret ones and what loving father wouldn’t give His daughter the best?

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God loves you too much for you to be a mistress, side chick/booty call! I’ll share my booty call/friend-with-benefit story soon…

And we know that to them that love God all things work together for good, even to them that are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28, ASV) and that’s why I openly share my struggles and past because look at the good that has come out of it; He brought me out for a purpose, for a time like this so that I can proclaim His love and faithfulness to the world and help other people come out of where I’ve been.

Always rest in the knowledge that God loves you so much and it is never too late to come back home like I did.

Love always,

Mrs. A

If you’re currently going through challenging times and you’d like a listening ear, some encouragement or motivation, please contact me here: talktomrsa@gmail.com

Posted in Inspirational

Set Apart for such a time as THIS

Hello beautiful people!

Yesterday, I went to my high school with one of my sisters and boy did it bring back memories! On my way back home, I was reflecting on my time in school, from primary till high school and I just blessed God for my life now.

Let me tell you, back in school, I was not a popular or cool girl. I didn’t think I was beautiful or pretty; skinny girls rocked then, curvy girls were not in vogue yet and besides I was not fully grown so I was just fat. I remember a time in junior high, I wanted to be skinny so bad that I won’t eat when I got back home from school; I thought starving myself would do the trick smh. There were girls in my class who I thought were so pretty and I really wanted to be like them. Boys didn’t like me, I was not the one they chose. I never had a boyfriend in junior high and if I had attended prom, I would have had no date. When we went for inter-schools games in high school, I always ‘gnashed’- meaning boys never came to talk to me; same for letters,(and you know what a big deal receiving letters were in high school) I only received letters from my darling Naki, when everyone else was receiving letters from boys in other schools. I was the ugly duckling, the one who never felt like she fit in no matter where she went. There was nothing special about me, I was just not the one you’d pick. I always battled with low self-esteem and even though I wasn’t getting negative affirmations about my looks, I wasn’t getting positive ones either. (NTS: always tell my daughters how beautiful and valuable they are, no matter how old they are).

What I soon came to realize was that this perception of myself was a big problem! A mind like this creates the perfect environment for the enemy to infiltrate and dwell, filling it with his lies. ‘You’re not good enough’. ‘You’re not that beautiful’. ‘No man will ever marry you’. ‘You’re too big’. ‘No one is going to give you a chance’. ‘You were born this way so you can’t change’. Lies, lies, lies, I tell you! These are all lies the enemy tries to fill our minds with and once you believe them, you start to go downhill, fast. You begin to seek any possible avenue where your sense of worth can be validated.

What I didn’t know in these times was that God loved me. No matter how I saw myself, God saw the best version of me and knowing this now makes all the difference. I didn’t know that these things I experienced were all a part of my preparation process to be set apart for such a time as this! My goodness, what joy this knowledge gives me now. I never once imagined a purpose for the way I felt about myself, I mean, I didn’t even like me but look at me now.

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How could I ever minister to girls with low self-esteem if I had never had that? How could I advise people on fitness routines if I had never done it myself? Yeah you can study or research and teach but do you know the difference it makes when you’ve actually been there yourself? I know I wouldn’t take advice from someone who doesn’t have any experience in the area they speak on. Oh so you’ve never been overweight and lost weight but you want to tell me how to do it? No Sir.

This is why I’m not ashamed of my struggles and past because God has brought me out of them so that my story can be a blessing to someone who is still in there. Dear people, validation of your self-worth does not come from the way you look, the people who like or don’t like you, OR what you have or don’t have. It comes from knowing and resting in the knowledge that God loves you. That’s all. He loved us so deeply that He gave up His only son to die for our sakes. That should make you know how important you are, that should tell you how much you’re worth. Boy, if that isn’t the greatest kind of love, then I don’t know what is. I mean, you say you love your partner but will you die for him/her though? Can you?

All I want is for every broken and hurting person to know that this love is real and no one else can ever love you like this. No judgement or condemnation here, no making you feel less of yourself. In Him:

  • You are great. John 14:12
  • You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
  • Your past doesn’t matter, you are brand new. 2 Corinthians 5:17

Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about your past, God will bring glory out of it! Don’t allow anyone to make you feel bad about mistakes God has forgiven you for, He has the final say not them! & never lose sight of your royalty because you, my dear, are a child of THE King so adjust your crown and walk in your right!

Love always,

Mrs. A

If you’re currently going through challenging times and you’d like a listening ear, some encouragement or motivation, please contact me here: talktomrsa@gmail.com

Posted in Inspirational

YES YOU CAN.

She wept.
She lay on her bed and wept, bitter tears flowing freely down her pretty face.
She was unhappy, tired and frustrated.
A poor orphan girl trying hard to make ends meet, trying hard to make something out of her miserable life.
She was in her first year of Uni and nearly dropped out just a month after her first semester began.
Uni was hard for her. All the books and handouts she had to buy, not to talk of self maintenance.
Self maintenance.
That thought brought more tears to her eyes because that was her major problem.
She saw how the other girls on campus looked, so fashion conscious, so trendy, so classy.
And they had the best hair pieces ever!
She couldn’t even afford to feed herself, how could she think of getting her hair done?
She could ask one of those men.
Those grown men with pot bellies and fat wallets, who always took her out for a meal or two.
But they always raised her hopes and brought them crashing right back down.
They would listen to her story and offer to help, if only she could meet their conditions.
Their sexual conditions.
“Hand go, hand come”, they called it.
But she would have none of that.
She had values, principles and no matter how hard things got for her, she never once relaxed her rules.
Her late mum trained her well.
Maybe she should just end it all and join her parents.
What was she living for anyway?
These evil thoughts first started occurring to her after she found out about her parents’ death.
She felt her death was next too, she had no idea how she was going to survive.
She had no one but a mean grandmother who would disown her if she had her own way.
Her grandmother despised her because she was the offspring from a marriage she disapproved of.
The only offspring too.
She always had a hard time with this old lady, especially when she asked for money.
She would give her a meagre amount that could last up to only a week, and rant if she dared ask for more.
So she stopped asking and that’s how she got involved with those grown men.
Thinking about all these things pushed her to reach for her sleeping pills, which were prescribed for her because she was too traumatised to sleep after the funeral.
She thought of the girl she once trusted, Anna, whom she called her best friend and took the first pill.
Anna spilled all the things she was told in confidence and made her friend an object of ridicule on campus.
“This girl keeps repeating clothes”, people would whisper about her.
She thought of the one boy she really loved, who deceived her, got her pregnant and left her.
She took another pill.
She thought of the painful abortion she had had, during which she nearly lost her life and downed a couple more.
At this point, her mind was filled with negative thoughts only.
She was now convinced that she didn’t deserve to live, that she had to die.
She couldn’t be stopped or saved at this moment.
She emptied the bottle and took the rest of the pills.
A lone tear fell from her right eye as she went back to lay down, waiting for the angel of death to come take her away.
She waited.
Seconds, minutes and hours passed and it was a new day.
She was still alive, much to her disappointment.
She lived.
It must have been a miracle but she lived.
Lived through it all.
She struggled, persevered and endured.
She runs a chain of businesses today.
She owns a hotel, guest houses, hostels, a beauty salon/spa and a school.
She made it and so can you.
Yes, you can.

NEVER GIVE UP!!!